Wander to the Wizard
by Olive nerd
Summary: Wander never gets to wander. His adoptive family decides he'll stay on their home planet - safe and no longer helpless. Suddenly, a witch named Dee sends Wander to an alternate universe. Now, he's with a different Sylvia. Together, with some friends, they have to find a way home, to his original galaxy. Based on the Wizard of Oz, Slight Skeleton Dance, Rated T due to paranoia
1. Prologue: The Beginning

Prologue: The Beginning

 **Before we get started, I own nothing. Enjoy!**

 _Sylvia detected movement out of the corner of her eye and turned. She saw nothing but crystalline buildings at first, but then she heard distant sniffling._

 _"What the..." She inched closer to the source of the noise until she spotted it: an orange star nomad, no bigger than a kitten. As soon as her shadow shrouded his diminutive form, the poor nomad shivered and shyly looked up at her with big, azure eyes._

 _Sylvia was definitely no sucker for cuteness, but she could not turn away from the helpless nomad in front of her. Instead, she knelt down, closer to his level, and spoke softly._

 _"Hey. It's okay, little guy. I'm not gonna hurt you." She frowned as realization dawned on her. "Where are your parents?" The nomad said nothing, only sniffled some more and hugged his knees to his chest._

 _"Aw, it's okay." She outstretched her arms and wore a kind smile, and the nomad slowly but surely fell into her arms and sobbed into her soft fur. "Let it out. Let it out." She gently patted his back and rocked him until he stopped crying and trembling. "Now then, where are your parents?"_

 _He looked up at her and spoke in a low but oddly mature voice. "I... I don't remember... They... They left, and they said they won't, can't come back." He choked a little, holding back tears. "Called me a mistake..."_

 _The teenage zbornak stared down at him with pity. She had parents who were tough as nails, but they would never ever call Sylvia or any of her bullish three brothers a mistake. And those big, goo-goo eyes did not bother Sylvia one bit like cute things usually do. In fact, they called out to her, begging her..._

 _She suddenly made a decision then and there. Her mom would just have to deal with it, because she was a daddy's girl, and both father and daughter never backed out of any decision._

 _"Look at me." She gently cupped the nomad's chin. "You are no mistake. You're here for a reason. We met for a reason." She gave him another bright smile and stood up with him snuggled in her arms. "You want to go to my home, buddy?"_

 _The nomad just looked at her like she was the greatest treasure in the galaxy and smiled a huge, adorable smile._

 _"Home..."_

* * *

"GET UP!"

In present day, a walking eyeball for a commander spotted a sleeping nomad and decided to yell in his ear. After all, the stranger was on his lord's future territory, and Commander Peepers would rather have one less friend than get electrocuted by his lord again.

Unfortunately, the stranger was just as tormenting.

"Hey, neighbor!" Commander Peepers found himself squeezed to death by the smiling nomad. "Folks call me Wander! I love this planet, don't you? Don't you? Don't you?"

"We're - " Wander unceremoniously dropped Commander Peepers and gawked at him.

"Oh my..." Then, he proceeded to grab and shake him crazily. "You're so adorable I can't stand it!"

"C-Can't... Breath..."

"Whoops! Sorry!" Wander dropped him again just as another stranger, a zbornak, walked up to the irritated eyeball. "And this is Sylvia, my best pal!"

Peepers ignored Sylvia and turned to Wander with his fiercest glare. "Listen up! We're about to conquer this planet, so I suggest you take your steed and your orbble juice somewhere else before Lord Hater obliterates you!"

Sylvia just rolled her eyes. "First of all, I always thought that was a stupid name, and that he's nothing but a whiny bully. Second, pipsqueak, I'm this guy's -" She gestured to Wander. "-Older sister." She clenched her fists. "So you better back off before my girls pain and misery obliterate _you!"_

"Sylvia!" Wander scolded. "That's not nice!"

"That's it!" Peepers aimed his gun at Wander's belly. "I tried to be courteous to you meddling civilians, but now you leave me no choice but to force you to leave or -"

"Light..." Wander whispered softly. He followed the gun's red, beaming light like a kitten, while Sylvia just smirked down at the confused Peepers.

"Why is he -"

"I'd like to see Lord Hater try to tell us to leave," Sylvia boasted, crossing her arms over her chest. "And when he does, I'm kicking his bony rump!"

Peepers then stopped baiting Wander with the gun's beam and instead aimed it at Sylvia. "How dare you threaten Lord Hater!"

Sylvia was just as peeved. "How dare you threaten Wander!"

"Isn't your brother a little young to go out traveling by himself, even with you?" Peepers smirked as he noticed her flush.

"None of your business!" Sylvia did disobey her mother, though, and took Wander out to another planet. She just could not say no to him forever, and Sylvia firmly believed that Wander was too sheltered.

"PEEPERS!" Suddenly, a towering skeleton in a ruby red robe grouchily marched toward them. "What are you doing?! Playing laser tag with these weirdos and wasting time?! You're supposed to be supervising while the others are fixing my ship!"

Peepers sweated nervously and pointed at both Wander and Sylvia. "They were threatening you, sir! I was simply defending your honor!"

Wander grinned widely and waved at Lord Hater. "Hi!"

Lord Hater glared harshly at his second-in-command. "Don't pull my leg, Peepers. Even if they did threaten me, I, Lord Hater, number one superstar, am not intimidated by a ditzy short guy and his horse."

"Idiot." Sylvia mumbled.

Lord Hater stomped over to Wander, who was still smiling cheerfully. "What did you CALL ME, YOU IGNORANT FOOL?! How dare you! I am the Duke of Dread! The Monarch of Mayhem! The Emperor of Evil!"

Wander's eyes enlarged with amazement. "Wow... Congratulations!"

Peepers pulled on his lord's cape to get his attention. "Sir? The kid didn't say it, It was the zbornak."

"Are you correcting me?" Lord Hater hissed vehemently.

Peepers shook wildly. "No! No, sir, no!"

As Lord Hater yelled at Peepers, Sylvia grabbed Wander's arm. "Buddy," she whispered urgently, "We should go. This isn't just any villain. He's on the Top 10 list."

Wander pouted sympathetically at the infamous villain. "He looks like he needs a hug."

"And so does Gram, and yet she always calls you a thief when you're less than a meter away from her."

The planet suddenly rumbled, making all four lose their balance and fall. Then, the ground beneath them cracked until a huge chasm formed. On one side of the chasm, all four watched as a young, attractive, green-skinned woman gracefully emerged from the crevice. She had spiky white hair and wore a purple dress, a black leather jacket, cyan sunglasses, and royal blue boots. Wander, Sylvia, and Lord Hater had no clue who she was, but Peepers did, and he hugged Sylvia tightly in fear.

"What is going on here?" The woman demanded, glaring at the intruders behind her sunglasses. "What are you four doing on _my_ planet?"

Lord Hater opened his mouth, but Peepers quickly leaped up and covered it. "Oh, this is _your_ planet? Wow. Our bad. We are so sorry and will leave. In fact, we were just leaving - "

Sylvia leaned over to Peepers. "What gives?" She hissed so only he could hear her.

Peepers released Lord Hater and turned to Sylvia. "Do you live under a rock?" He hissed lowly. "That's Dee, the most powerful witch in the universe! She's not on the top villainy lists, but cross her, and you pay the price!"

"Wow..." Lord Hater, meanwhile, gawked stupidly at her. "She's pretty..."

"Sir! Didn't you ever read that _Guidebook to the Galaxy's Nefarious_ that I gave you? She's in it!"

"Y...N...No?"

"It was a birthday present! Damn it!"

Dee smirked darkly at Lord Hater. "Well, well, well. If it isn't Lord Hater."

The skeleton lord grinned charmingly at her. "So you've heard of me?"

"Yes." She leaned closer to him and laid one of her hands on his broad shoulders. "Quite frankly, I'm surprised you're even number four on the list."

"He actually went down to number five last week," Peepers mumbled to himself.

"PEEPERS!"

"Yes, sir! Shutting up!"

Dee chuckled, keeping her hand on Lord Hater's shoulder. "Seems like you _lava_ challenge..." Hot, flowing lava poured out from her hands, crawling on Lord Hater and approaching the panicky commander.

"Hot! Hot! AHHH!" Both lord and commander squealed like children as the lava chased them to their ship. Thankfully, their watchdogs had just finished repairing it, and they flew from the creeping lava, avoiding injury and potential death by the crossed witch.

Dee chuckled at the sight of them fleeing before turning to Wander and Sylvia. "Now, who are you two?"

* * *

Back at Sylvia and Wander's home, an older, grumpier zbornak was angrily chopping carrots in the kitchen. This zbornak was none other than Sylvia's biological mother and Wander's adoptive mother: Dorothy.

"Hmph! When they get home, they're going to get an earful!" She grumbled to herself.

"Careful, Dorothy." Her mother, affectionately called Gram, called out to her. "You're about to chop your fingers off!"

Dorothy just sighed tiredly and turned to Gram, who was eyeing the television set disdainfully.

"Where are the boys?"

"Don't know. Don't care. Watching T.V. Leave me alone."

* * *

"Now remember Wander." He and Sylvia returned home fifteen minutes after meeting Dee. Thankfully, they made it barely unscathed.

"Just let me do the talking."

Wander nodded hesitantly. "Do you think Mom will be really mad, Syl?"

"Pft! She's a tough old brod." Sylvia assured him, glancing at Wander to make sure he was sitting safely on her back. "Besides, you're immortal. You've lived for hundreds of years and this is the first time in months that you've been on another planet besides this crummy one. And..." She ruffled the fuzz on Wander's little head. "She favors you because you're so adorable."

Wander gasped so loudly that Sylvia twitched. "Sylvia! That's not true! There's no favoritism in our happy little family!" They heard the door of their home (or hut, to Sylvia) and Dorothy rushed out to pick up Wander and hold him close.

"Wander!"

"Sure there isn't..."

"Are you okay?" Dorothy analyzed her youngest from head to toe. "Have you eaten yet? Baby, look at me."

Wander just laughed at her worrying and hugged her back. "I'm fine, Mom. Really." He gave her a warm, sunny smile to prove it. "We ate berries and played Hide and Seek and met these really nice people and explored the planet Brew Cauldron!"

Dorothy gaped and set Wander down. "You... what?"

Sylvia rolled her eyes and huffed. "Just chill out, Mom."

"He's too naive and innocent to go to those dangerous planets. And a witch lives on Brew Cauldron, the worst of witches!" This time, she circled and examined Sylvia. "What did she do?"

"Nothing." Sylvia flexed her arms proudly. "I even gave her a black eye because she threatened Wander." Dorothy just sputtered, shocked and flabbergasted.

"It was so _cool_!" Wander gushed, jumping up and down. "Well, the violence wasn't cool, but the exchange was! She was all 'You'll pay for coming here.' And Sylvia was all 'Uh-uh!' And I said 'Ladies, let's put our differences aside.'"

"And I put her aside!" Sylvia added smugly, giving Wander a high-five. Dorothy just closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Wander? Go inside. Now."

The star nomad hesitated, looking back and forth at his equally vexed mother and sister. "Mom, it wasn't Sylvia's fault. Honestly! I asked her to take me to that planet. I read about it and saw it on TV. So it's all my fault, not hers! I should be punished and -"

"Wander." Dorothy's tone left no more room for arguments. "Now." Wander drooped, reluctantly obeying.

But she didn't say he couldn't eavesdrop.


	2. Chapter 1: The Dream

Chapter 1: The Dream

Wander peeked out from the window, staring at the irked mother and daughter, holding his breath. Neither of them said anything for several minutes. Their backs were stubbornly facing one another. No one said a word. But then, Sylvia sighed heavily.

"Mom, you baby him too much. He's over a hundred years old -"

"Then why doesn't he remember his life up until now?" Dorothy interrupted bitterly.

Sylvia groaned and faced her mother, looking even more annoyed. "Oh my gosh, Mom! We've discussed this a gazillion times! His memories are blurry because he hit his head! He can only remember fragments. He even recalls when he bumped his head and lost all those memories, and the doctors predicted this themselves. Remember?"

Dorothy narrowed her eyes stubbornly, her back still facing Sylvia. "That's unbelievable. But you want to know what else is unbelievable?" She finally turned to her only daughter. "That my daughter, a former bounty hunter, who should know more than anyone in this family about the dangers in this galaxy, is taking her little brother out there and risking his life! Now, a witch may be after him! Didn't he learn from last time not to land on forbidden planets?"

Both Sylvia and Wander remembered that visit to the planet Prisma vividly. The planet had various warning signs all over it, but Wander really, really wanted to see how shapes lived their lives. It was the first time they ever witnessed the Black Cube in a bar fight, and it was the first time a mob of geometric, three-dimensional shapes chased them to a cliff. Sylvia insisted they were innocent, because they had no idea how sensitive shapes were about their vertices.

Sylvia shrugged. "On Brew, there were no harbingers, no signs, nothing. Looked completely harmless. Boring even."

"Nevertheless, you and Wander are grounded for two weeks -"

"Mom!"

"- Until you learn that one of you always has to ask me before you decide to go on another suicidal mission."

The younger zbornak growled, feeling herself lose composure. "You wouldn't have allowed it." Sylvia always felt compelled to win their arguments about Wander, always wanted to get that last laugh. Maybe it was because she acted defensively when it came to Wander, or maybe she was just that headstrong. Either way, she almost smirked triumphantly as her mother heard her smart comment.

"Sylvia..." Dorothy's harsh tone softened a little. "You are encouraging him to disobey me and get himself hurt. Is that really want you want? If your father were here -"

Sylvia felt herself finally lose it. That was the final straw. Hardly anyone mentioned her father around her because she missed him so. And when Dorothy saw the tears brimming in her tough daughter's eyes, she knew she had crossed the line.

"If he were here, he'd support me because he was proud of what I did for a living, unlike _you_!"

Dorothy frowned sternly at her. "I am always proud of you, young lady! And yes, he was proud of you, too. And he was just as stubborn as you." Dorothy wiped her eyes. "And he was just as selfless as Wander. And I believe that's what cost him his life: his headstrong, selfless nature."

She was not wrong in that he was stubborn and caring. Will, Dorothy's late husband and Sylvia's late father, was a bounty hunter himself and taught Sylvia all the tips and tricks. One day, he was given strict orders to bring an infamous murderer to home base alive. Unfortunately, the murderer killed him before he could kidnap him by tricking him into believing he was injured.

When his family heard, they could not believe it, but the murderer was also one of the best con artists in the galaxy. Ever since then, Sylvia and her family hardly trusted anyone else, until Wander showed up and stole the widow and her daughter's hearts. (Of course, they'd never admit that.)

With his bright attitude and bravery, Wander reminded them of Will. (They'd never admit that either.) Still, no one could replace Will.

Dorothy was not wrong, but Sylvia did not want to hear anymore. "How dare you talk about him that way!" She stormed off to the house and into her room before her mother could utter another word.

Back at the front of the house, Wander stared at his sneakers guiltily and walked away from the window. He hated when they fought. It wasn't like the bantering of his three older brothers; it was harsh, cruel fighting. And this time, Wander knew he caused it all, just because he wanted to go out again.

 _Why do I have to be so curious? Why can't I just be content where I am?_ Wander thought as he entered the living room, where his three brothers and grandmother were watching TV from the sofa. He glumly sat in the massive recliner.

Phil spotted him immediately. "You're not using your head, bro." They heard the first part of the argument. "Why would you go to such a dangerous planet?"

Wander shrugged and gave him a small grin. "The witch sounded like she just needed a friend. And so did Lord Hater -"

Gil spat out his soda. "What?! Lord Hater? Damn, you've got guts, little man!"

Bill shook his head. "He's just a big softy with a big heart."

"And a head full of delirium," Phil grunted, elbowing Bill for more room on the sofa.

"Shut up, Phil! He can't help that he's a small softy!"

"No, you shut up, Bill!"

"Both of you shut up!" Gil snapped. "I'm trying to watch this!"

Phil snatched the remote from Gil. "I hate these stupid cartoons! Let's watch some horror flick!"

Gil grabbed it from Phil. "No way, man! Today's my day to have the remote! Besides, our little bro's just gotta be more evil." He gave the star nomad a wink and jabbed Bill in the ribs. "Like me."

Bill smacked the back of Gil's head. "No! He needs a girlfriend here. That way, he'll want to stay here more."

"No!" Phil smacked them both. "Ugh, you're both morons! Right, Wander?"

Wander just watched the usual fight wordlessly. So when Phil dragged him in their mess, he really did not know what to say.

"Um..."

"No, he is! Right, buddy?"

"C'mon, Wandy! I'm your favorite older brother!"

"No, I am!"

"I AM!" And after that one last cry, the brawl began. Fists and jabs and smacks proceeded. Thankfully for Gram and Wander, they quickly took their fight elsewhere.

Gram rolled her stiff neck and relaxed on the sofa. "Finally! I thought they'd never leave." She glared suspiciously at Wander and clutched her purple pearls. "Stop eyeing my pearls."

Wander smiled at her. "You don't have to worry about me, Gram." He suddenly heard Sylvia crying from her bedroom. Gram heard it, too, and stiffened. And when Dorothy entered the humble adobe, she heard it as well and took in how heartbroken Wander was.

"Wander... Come into the kitchen." He nodded and followed her.

Gram sneered at them. "You should whip him, Dorothy! He'll turn into one of those no-good, dirty hippies if he keeps this up!"

Dorothy halted and clenched her fists. "Ma, not now." She and Wander went into the kitchen, where Wander sat at the counter and Dorothy checked the status of her ground beef casserole.

"Needs five minutes." She slammed the oven door shut and turned to Wander. "You're grounded for two weeks."

He simply nodded. He was never one to defy his mother, the hardworking zbornak who raised him and was his closest friend and guardian other than Sylvia. Besides, he felt too ashamed of himself to argue.

Dorothy pursed her lips. "So you heard..." Wander's drooping head was her answer, and Dorothy knelt to his level. "Come here." Wander wrapped his skinny arms around her neck, and Dorothy softly patted his back. Then, after a minute, she released him.

"Feel better?"

"Mm-hmm."

The motherly zbornak gave Wander her gentlest smile. "Sweetie, I'm tough on Sylvia because she responds well to tough love. Tough love is the only kind of love that gets into that thick skull of hers. You're different." She stood up and patted his head. "Now I'm making this casserole and a salad to go with it. Go relax and find something to do that's quiet and won't get you into any trouble. But stay here on this planet. Understand?" Wander nodded. "Good." She resumed to chopping carrots.

Wander skipped out of the kitchen and in front of Sylvia's room to see how she was faring. "Sylvia?" He knocked on her door. But then, he heard her sob some more and decided to just stay in the living room until she felt better.

"Wait a while, stubborn kid." Gram reprimanded him bitterly. "And get over here."

Wander quickly plopped on to the couch beside his grandmother, grateful for any distraction. "Yes, Gram?"

The frail zbornak scowled and handed him a few coins. "Buy something good for you and Sylvia. Seeing you mope is much more annoying than seeing you smile stupidly."

Wander gasped and grinned hugely at her. "Thank you, Gram!"

"Yeah. Whatever."

With a chirpier gait and a smile on his face, Wander grabbed his banjo, walked out the door, and skipped over to the nearest shop. After a few minutes of walking, Wander strummed his banjo and sang one of his original songs.

 _"Oh, Wander over Yonder, and check out this and that._

 _If you Wander over Yonder, be sure to wear your hat._

 _All the things that you will see,_ _and you certainly will be free,_

 _if you Wander over Yonder, just you and me!_

 _If the darkness comes a creepin' and you're feeling down,_

 _just Wander over Yonder, and turn your life around!_

 _Oh Wander over Yonder. Be sure to lend a hand._

 _All your helpful, friendly good deeds will spread across the land._

 _All your helpful, friendly good deeds will spread across the land."_

Secretly, Wander daydreamed of the next time he would go to another planet. He loved his home planet, but he wanted to see more and to meet more people. There was just so much to see, and he wanted to see all the galaxy's splendor and beauty. Before Sylvia and her family took him in, that was all that Wander did: wandered. Only this time, Wander knew his travels would be much better because he had Sylvia there to appreciate them, too.

Wander hoped that one day, his mother would trust Sylvia and him enough, and that they could roam wherever their hearts desired. But until then, Wander kept his chin up and dreamed happily. Because a bad attitude only makes life tougher.


	3. Chapter 2: The Witch

Chapter 2: The Witch

After buying some candies from the nearby sweet shop, Wander decided to pick some flowers on his way home. He knew Sylvia tended to appreciate the occasional bouquet of flowers. Also, he knew that picking flowers would provide the perfect distraction. (He had already munched on three of the candies.)

"Sylvia's gonna love these flowers and sweets!" He could not stop himself from opening the lid of the maroon, heart-shaped box and popping another delectable treat into his mouth. "Mm, vanilla!"

He finished picking flowers and headed home. But then, a charcoal black vortex appeared out of nowhere, and Dee sprang from it, glowering nastily. Not looking twice, Wander scrambled behind a rock. He watched a little anxiously as she marched up to the entrance of his house and banged on the door.

"Open up! Open - " Gram answered with a neutral frown.

"We don't want any. So scram, you dirty hobo!" She almost slammed the door shut, but Dee caught it with her foot.

"I am here for the wandering weirdo." Dorothy and Sylvia emerged behind their elder.

"What?" Wander, Dorothy, and Sylvia asked in unison.

Dee huffed impatiently. "His kind has tried to serenade me with their pathetic ideas of love and friendship for the last time! So I am here to destroy him, like my family destroyed his worthless family!"

"Wha..." Wander held his head, feeling a migraine approach. Then, he had a vision...

 _"This is a mistake."_

 _"No, it's his best chance, or he will suffer our same fate."_

The vision ended, and Wander shook his head until the world spun. Then, as soon as the blurriness was gone, Wander saw Sylvia approaching Dee with clenched fists.

Dee, however, was far from intimidated. "Just give him to me," Dee ordered haughtily.

Sylvia just spat at the ground. "Over my dead body."

"That can be done." With a flick of her small wrist, Dee transformed Dorothy, Gram, and the three brothers into frogs. Then, from her thin lips, she blew a silver bubble that grew so gargantuan it held Sylvia hostage. Meanwhile, Wander gaped in amazement from his hiding place. Dee was certainly acting malevolently, but she was also impressively powerful, like the galaxy's best magician.

Somehow that didn't put Wander at ease.

Dee watched in amusement as Sylvia struggled to break her scintillating prison. "You're the intrusive zbornak who accompanied that little imp!" Her giggles died down and she turned serious again. "Come on out, dork, or your friend gets it!" To prove her point, Dee snapped her fingers, and the bubble ensnaring Sylvia suddenly shrunk until Sylvia was gasping for breath.

"Hmm... I wonder what would happen if the bubble got a teeny tiny bit smaller... Maybe a heart condition? Ooh, maybe your bones will break and -"

"No! Don't!" Wander ran from his spot and shielded Sylvia. "Please, don't!"

Dee grinned menacingly once she laid eyes on him. She quickly popped Sylvia's bubble and zapped Wander, holding him in place. As painful as the sudden, electrifying zap was, Wander was beyond grateful that Sylvia was okay. And, he quickly observed that the rest of his family members were no longer frogs.

"Don't worry, Wander! I'm coming!" Sylvia wasted no time and rushed to him. But all Dee had to do was snap her fingers, allowing a force field to surround her and Wander.

Dee cackled with glee as she held Wander still. But to her dismay, Wander looked only a little frightened, but he mostly looked _inquisitive_.

"What is wrong with you?! I'm about to -"

"You..." Wander cocked his head at her. "You knew my... family? And destroyed them?"

Dee relished his sudden sadness and removed her sunglasses, revealing bright, bloodthirsty red eyes. "Actually, my parents did all that. I'm just here to finish their job."

"Why?"

His innocent question infuriated her. "Why? Why?! I think it should be obvious! You're obnoxious, I'm a witch, so bippity boppity bye-bye beee-itch!" Wander then felt a creeping, burning sensation. "And now..."

Knowing this was probably the end, Wander mouthed 'I love you' to his family and smiled warmly at them. He did not want them to think he was suffering. Actually, he felt fine. Although he was a little frightened, and the experience was far from pleasant, Wander knew it'd all be over soon.

Besides, death was just another chance to wander over yonder.

The pain abruptly stopped, and Wander opened his eyes, startled. Dee was staring at him contemplatively with cold, crimson eyes. Then, Wander was released from his confines and landed right in her tight grasp.

"I'm not gonna kill you."

Wander stared at her solemnly. "You're... not?" _She had a change of heart that quickly, huh? Guess I was wrong to fret even a bit -_

"No." She gave him a wicked smile. She zapped Wander again. Only this time, he felt no pain. "I'm gonna let you suffer in another universe alone..." She glanced at his family. "Without them."

The whole family of zbornaks protested and slammed their bodies against the force field, watching helplessly as Wander started to hyperventilate.

"W-Without my family? What?" Years ago, little Wander was used to wandering on his own. But then Sylvia found him, and he found home. So he had never been too far without his family for so long, and an alternate universe without them seemed cold and empty. Worse than death.

"No! No, please! Just kill me! It's quicker!"

"Oh, but where's the fun in that? It's the slow, _painful_ processes that are really juicy."

"But... They're all I have!"

"Oh..." Dee pouted mockingly and opened another vortex. Only this time, this vortex was iridescent with the complex worlds of the interdimension.

"Then what do you have to live for?" Dee asked Wander with feigned sadness, giggling as his head drooped. "Without them, you're just a dorky, naive simpleton. With no home and no name."

Sylvia yelled a series of obscenities and hit the force field so hard that Dee and Wander shook from inside of it. Irked, Dee sent her flying and approached the interdimensional hole.

"Say goodbye to this galaxy, Wander, and say hello to one without your precious family!" And with one last evil, condescending laugh, Dee threw him carelessly into the vortex.

 **Author's Note: Man, Dee/Dominator's nasty! Anyway, please review!**


	4. Chapter 3: The New Galaxy

Chapter 3: The New Galaxy

 **Author's Note: Both the first and alternate universes in this fanfic are similar to the universe in the original _Wander over Yonder_ series. But there are also some differences. You'll see what I mean later. Enjoy!**

Spinning. Wander was spinning and spinning senselessly. He spun so much that his head began to ache and his blood began to rush. His surroundings were nothing but fuzzy, unfamiliar blurs. And, maybe he was hallucinating, but he thought he heard a door open.

Suddenly, Wander was no longer spinning, and the blurs began to turn to distinguishable things. He was back in deep space, it appeared, and familiar, brightly colored planets and moons greeted him. Twinkling, luminous stars blinked at him, and friendly travelers waved at him. Wander could not believe it; he was probably still in his galaxy and the witch put her foot in her mouth!

"Whoa... This is AMAZING!" Wander was so fascinated with the views around him that he didn't notice he was floating at an incredibly high speed. Luckily, he landed on the soft, plush leaves of a strange, orange tree on an unfamiliar planet. Aside from the assortment of orange and violet trees and plant growth, a shiny palace surrounded by humble huts was on this planet.

"And what a beeeeautiful place to explore!"

"Ha!" A man in shining armor suddenly popped out from a nearby bush. "A foe at last!"

Wander just grinned amiably and waved. "Hi! Folks call me Wander! I'm - "

"A stranger! The fool! Just like the prophecy foretold. Now I will kill you, villainous fool, and saved the beautiful Princess Demura, and my fabulous hat will finally be mine! Because I am Sir Brad Starlight!"

Wander gasped appreciatively. "Wow! That's so cool!" He especially liked Sir Brad's starry, midnight blue cape and the hat he was carrying. It was green and black with a bright yellow star stitched in the middle.

"I know, right?" Sir Brad grinned proudly, posing heroically.

"Well, it was nice meeting ya!"

"What?" Sir Brad blocked Wander's path. "No, I -"

"You want to hear me sing? Because I'm always happy to sing for a new friend!"

"NO! We are certainly not friends! I -"

"What a cool hat you have!" Wander blurted out, observing it. "But shouldn't you wear it on your head? Hats are made for wearin', not carryin'!"

To Sir Brad Starlight, the temptation to smack this nomad was beyond tempting. "Not this one, you simpleton! It must choose its owner." He raised the hat over his head as if it were a trophy. "This hat is the most magical hat in the entire galaxy! No, the universe! It can give you anything your heart desires." He reached inside the hat and pulled out what he needed. "Like a sword!"

"Ooh... Can I try? Can I try? Can I try?" Wander could barely contain his excitement. "Can I? Can I? _Can_ I?"

"No, it's mine!" Sir Brad whined childishly.

The star nomad just shook his head disapprovingly. "Well if it's yours, then wear it! I bet it'll look good on ya!"

"I'll put it on later - after I kill you and save the princess!" He almost struck Wander, but the nomad then hopped on his back and started to rub his broad shoulders.

"Hey, it's okay, buddy. I can tell you're tense."

"Get off of me! We're not buddies!" Even when Wander did hop off of him, Sir Brad had reached his breaking point. "FINE!" He stubbornly stomped the ground. "I will don this hat only to prove that it is truly mine! And when I do, will you _shut up_?" Wander nodded affirmatively. And so, the confident knight donned the hat and fell dead.

Before Wander could call for help, he heard children scuttling from the foliage. Then, several rosy-cheeked faces greeted him with parted mouths and eyes full of wonder and innocence.

"Who are you?" A little boy piped up.

"Who are you?" Another inquired, staring curiously at Wander.

"What are you?"

"Where did you come from?"

Adult aliens of all shapes and sizes soon emerged as well, and began asking Wander more and more questions.

"Who sent you?"

"Why are you here?"

"Are you the prophecy?"

"Hey! Hey!" Sylvia fought her way to the center of the crowd until she reached Wander, who was beyond grateful to see her. "Give the kid some air, will you?"

"SYLVIA!" Wander grabbed and hugged her tightly, catching her off guard. The zbornak stiffened but then quickly recovered and returned the embrace.

"Hey, buddy."

Wander looked up at her. "Where are we?"

Sylvia frowned bemusedly and scrutinized him from head to toe. "You're kidding, right? Did you hit your head or something, Tumbleweed? We're on the planet Oasis. We stopped here to rest a bit."

"Oh." Wander shrugged and smiled brightly. "Well as lovely as this cute little planet is, we should skedaddle on home and -" Wander's eyes widened in realization. "Did you say... Tumbleweed? I'm Wander, Syl."

Sylvia looked just as troubled and confused as he. "What? Home? Wander?"

Wander stared at his older sister worriedly. "Did you hit your head or something, sis?"

"Sis?" Now Sylvia was a little scared. "Tumbleweed, what in this galaxy are you talking about? Did _you_ hit your head or something?"

"Oh no..." Wander recalled what happened a few minutes ago at his house. _The witch..._ He remembered with a shudder. _She sent me here..._

 _"I'm gonna let you suffer in another universe alone..." She glanced at his family. "Without them."_

The poor nomad did not know whether to hop excitedly or scream until his throat hurt. He was in a whole other universe, with another Sylvia, who never took him in and called him Tumbleweed!

Both trembling from excitement and terror, Wander knew one thing; he had to return to his original galaxy.

One little girl grabbed his hand, interrupting his train of thought. "Mister, how'd you kill the evil Brad Starlight?"

Wander recoiled at the thought of killing anyone. "I - I didn't kill him! It was all an accident! He just put on the hat and dropped dead!"

"Just as the prophecy foretold." Everyone turned to the source of the soothing voice: a stunning princess. She had golden curls, pouting pink lips, and big, royal blue eyes. She wore a huge, magenta and lavender gown with pink hearts at the waist and hem, matching gloves, and a modest magenta crown. Various forest animals surrounded her.

All the citizens bowed before their princess, while Wander and Sylvia just gaped at her.

"She's beautiful..." Wander whispered in awe. Shaking herself out of her stupor, Sylvia gagged beside him and shielded her eyes.

"And pink. Ugh!" She gave Wander a light shove. "Bow, Tumble - I mean, Wander!"

Princess Demura gracefully descended down the stairs of her palace and walked up to Wander and Sylvia, who bowed hastily.

"Your majesty," the duo said in unison.

"You may rise." And so they did. "A hero would bring a fool's death and save me. That was the prophecy. Thank you..." She trailed off awkwardly. "Oh dear. What is your name?"

Wander grinned shyly and gave the princess another bow. "Wander."

"Thank you, Wander." Princess Demura smiled sweetly, and everyone else paused to stop and stare. She was truly beautiful. The princess herself then bowed to Wander, and all the citizens of Oasis gasped before bowing to him instead.

Not used to so much attention, Wander quickly changed the subject. "But... how did I save you?"

Princess Demura sighed wearily and stared at the fallen Sir Brad Starlight. "When we were children, Brad and I were close friends. But then, we started dating. It was great at first, but he grew into a selfish, arrogant, misogynistic jerk. So I had to dump him." Her stare hardened a little with irritation. "But he became so obsessed, thinking we were made for each other! I have told him numerous times that I simply do not reciprocate his feelings for me and that we should just be friends." Her gaze saddened. "And he's been trying to taking my hand in marriage ever since, one way or another. He did everything from threatening my family to threatening the safety of my people! His arrogance was his downfall."

She smiled again at Wander. "And so, for saving us all, I present to you this." She knelt down to his level and latched a glowing, ruby pendant around his scrawny neck. "Whenever you need my help, just hold it and whisper my name into it."

Wander flushed and smiled coyly at the princess. "I never received a gift from a _princess_ before. Thank you."

A little girl tapped Wander's shoulder. "Sir?" She presented a lovely bouquet of flowers to him. "A gift for you, sir, to show our gratitude."

"Why thank you, lil' lady!"

Soon, more citizens bestowed gifts to the humble hero and his speechless steed. The gifts began to pile around them. So Wander stowed them in his bottomless hat, kindly expressed his thanks, and told them this was more than enough. After that, the crowd began chanting Wander's name and shouting bizarre requests.

"Sign my arm! Please, heroic one!"

"Sign my butt!"

"Marry me, Wander!"

Sylvia grimaced. "Okay, this is getting weird." She placed Wander on her back. "Let's go!"

"But -"

An enormous, intimidating space ship suddenly soared in the sky and landed on the planet. A throng of huge, black magma robots with laser cannons as faces poured from it and encircled them all.

"The Dominator-bots!" Someone cried shrilly. "Lord Dominator is here!"

Then, from the ship's entrance, a massive being emerged, wearing a black suit with spiky shoulders and a scarlet red bleeding heart painted on the chest. Its protruding horns and huge gloves were orange and yellow, designed like flowing lava. The being's black and white helmet, however, was the most intimidating feature, with a black spike on top and soulless, neon green slots for the eyes.

This soulless creature was none other than Lord Dominator, the most villainous villain in the entire galaxy.

 **"WHO KILLED MY BROTHER?!"**

Scratch that. The thunderous voice was the most intimidating feature. The deep, cold rumble sent shivers down everyone's spines. Only Sylvia was able to mumble anything competent.

"Oh crap."

 **"WHO?!"** Lava burst from the gloves, heading for the frightened citizens. Princess Demura raised her dainty hands, and she enclosed the citizens, Wander, Sylvia, and herself in a glittery pink bubble.

Princess Demura frowned at Lord Dominator. "You will not lay a finger on my people, Lord Dominator!"

The suited villain just chuckled darkly. **"Cute display, princess."** With one poke from Dominator, the bubble burst, and the menace grabbed the princess' arm. **"But you'll have to do better than that to get rid of me! Now tell me who did it!"**

"No! Wait! Stop!" Wander jumped in-between them, but this only infuriated Dominator even more, and Wander's arm was grabbed, too.

 **"Was it you?"**

Sylvia glared daggers at Dominator. "Hey, buddy -"

"Nobody did it!" Wander yelped. "It was an accident! Please release the princess. It was an accident!"

The villain growled but released both Demura and Wander. Then, the suit shrunk, revealing a green-skinned, pink-eyed beauty with choppy white hair, wearing a black dress with a splattered red heart on it, the same, horned and spiked black helmet, the same gloves, and white socks and sneakers.

Everyone else except Demura gasped. They had never seen the villain without her suit before.

"She's beautiful."

"Beautiful and evil!"

"Wait... So Lord Dominator's a girl?"

Lord Dominator snarled at the gossipy citizenry. "YES, I'M A GIRL, YOU IMBECILES!" Her voice was no longer sonorous, but it was still cold, and it rumbled with the seductive lure of darkness. She turned to Wander and lifted his chin with one of her long fingers. "An accident, you say? Well, sweetheart..." She cooed mockingly. "I can cause accidents, too!"

"Aren't you forgetting your late brother's hat, Lord Dominator?" Demura inquired.

This definitely caught the villainess' attention, and she laughed almost cutely at herself. "Oh right! Silly me!" She scanned Sir Brad's body but quickly found no hat. "What?! It's gone!" Hot lava bubbled from her gloves. "Where is it, Demura? Give it back or I'll destroy every last particle of this pathetic planet!"

Princess Demura barely batted an eye. "Do you not recall the prophecy?"

Lord Dominator blew a raspberry. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. A loser dies, a princess is saved even though she's perfectly capable of defending herself -"

"Why thank you!"

"- And the blasted hat chooses its owners! Blah! Blah! Blah! Whatevs! That hat belongs to me! I am the greatest, evilest, most powerful villain in the whole galaxy! So it's mine!"

The blonde princess grinned knowingly. "Huh. Well, the hat disagrees." She pointed to Wander, and all Demura's people gasped. On the little nomad's head sat the hat.

Wander stared at the hat with wonder. "It's... warm. I think..." He smiled wholeheartedly. "It likes me!"

Sylvia looked at Wander incredulously. "How can a hat like you?"

"It's sentient," Demura explained. "It chooses its owner." She gave Dominator, who looked ready to fry the nomad, a pointed look. "Its selfless, dauntless, caring owner who wants nothing from it but _needs_ it to help him serve others."

A light bulb appeared to turned on in Dominator's head, and her voice turned sickly sweet. "Listen, kid, why don't you give your little ol' hat to me? I mean, _I'm_ the only one who knows how to use it. It's of no use to _you_."

Demura pulled Wander away from Dominator. "Don't fall for it, Wander." She whispered softly. "She only wants to conquer the galaxy with that hat so she can destroy it. It's a very powerful hat." Wander nodded.

Dominator barred her teeth at Demura, making a few children faint on the spot. "Stay out of this, Blondie, or you're finished!"

"Someone one day will stop your reign -"

"And who would that be?" Dominator interrupted snobbishly. "You? Ha! What are you gonna do? Blow me some bubbles and blind me with your excessive pinkness?"

Demura's animal friends gave the villainess dirty looks, but Demura simply shrugged. "I cannot do much, but with the infinite powers of space, _he_ can."

Sylvia did a double take of Dominator. Maybe it was the sun in her eyes. Maybe it was just her imagination. Maybe she was misinterpreted something. But she could have sworn she saw the well-known and feared villain at the top of the Galactic Villain Leaderboard glance at Wander and wince with genuine fear.

"Fine," the villainess hissed. "I can destroy this lame planet later. I'm a patient woman with no competition."

"Except us!" Sylvia shouted, cracking her knuckles.

Dominator rolled her eyes. "Just try and test me, you wretched creature! You and your tiny friend!" She then turned to Wander. "You may have the hat, but you don't know how to use it. Therefore, you don't know how to protect yourself from me." She got dangerously close to his face until Wander could feel her hot breath on his cheeks. "That hat is as good as mine. And once it's in my grasp, I'll wipe that stupid, sunshiny grin off your face permanently." With a dramatic sashay of her hips, Dominator stormed off, giggling madly.

"LET'S GO, BOYS!" Her wicked cackling deepened as she shifted back to her masked form. Her loyal robots scurried to the bowels of the ship, with their leader right behind them. Then, not a second later, the ship soared into the black abyss.

Frowning, Demura looked at Wander with evident pity in her eyes. "You're in quite a pickle, Wander."

Sylvia glared at where the ship left. "That's an understatement."

"You better return to your home planet asap."

Wander just shook his head sadly. "I'd give anything to return to my home planet, your highness, but it's in another galaxy, in an alternate universe!" This made the citizenry and Sylvia eye him skeptically, but Demura just nodded.

"So that's why I saw that vortex... door... thing. Someone sent you here, and I'm afraid the only one who can help you return to your home is the mysterious Major Threat." Once the word's left her mouth, the crowd chattered incessantly.

"Are you nuts?!" Sylvia shouted brazenly. "He's a bad guy! He'll kill him!"

"No. You are misinformed. He just does what his heart desires. He's mostly known for his not-so-pleasant deeds, but he has done good ones numerous times, and he has never killed anyone. And he does desire to help the helpless. And if you ask him for your help, I'm sure he'll grant your wish. Just follow the yellow stars and - "

"Thank you! Thank you! THANK YOU!" Wander wildly shook Demura's hand, kissed it, bowed, and hopped on Sylvia's back.

"Let's go, Sylvia!"

"Wait! I almost forgot! There is another way you can -" By the time Demura started speaking, Wander and Sylvia had flown miles away from planet Oasis in an orbble bubble.

"...Return... home. Oh crap - I mean, oh dear." She stared at the duo, who were now a speck in the sky. "Well, at least he knows how to use the hat."


	5. Chapter 4: The Pipsqueak

Chapter 4: The Pipsqueak

"Wow!" Wander had a bottle of orbble juice in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. "How did this hat knew I was thirsty? This is so cool!"

"It is something," Sylvia agreed, glancing at the hat. "Sooo... You're from another galaxy, eh?" Sylvia chuckled lightly. "You never cease to surprise me, Tumble - I mean, Wander."

Wander blushed and frowned at himself. "I'm sorry I scared you earlier, Syl."

Sylvia grinned lazily at him. "Don't worry about it, buddy. I understand. It's a little weird that I'm your sister in this, er, alternate universe." She used her tail to ruffle the fuzz on his head. "But with you being so goofy and adorable, I can definitely see it."

 _She even acts like Sylvia,_ Wander thought wistfully. _I can't help it that I miss my actual sister, can I?_

"You're my adoptive sister," Wander clarified. "Your mom adopted me."

"Really?" Sylvia fought the urge to grin. "And are there three dopey, aggressive brothers and a paranoid, sour-faced grandmother and a hilarious dad thrown into this happy trail mix?"

"Uh-huh! How'd you know?"

Sylvia laughed a little and craned her neck to look at Wander. "Lucky guess."

Wander replayed her question in his head and frowned at himself again. "Sylvia... where I'm from... your father..."

"Tell you what, buddy." She stopped in her tracks. "I'll tell you about this galaxy, and you can tell me about yours." Sylvia already knew how heartbreaking it was to lose a loved one. Her mother in her galaxy passed away, and she did not want Wander to feel guilty over something he could not help.

And if Wander was anything like Tumbleweed, he was prone to try to carry too much weight on his shoulders for the sake of others.

Wander smiled hugely and donned his hat. "Sounds stupendous! You first!"

 _He even talks like Tumbleweed,_ Sylvia mused before telling Wander about her galaxy. She told him about her childhood and her former job as a racing zbornak. She told him about how fame became overbearing and she settled down to live with her kin. She also told him about how her mother passed away several years ago and how her father has managed the fort.

"And then I met Tumbleweed," Sylvia continued. "Who looks eerily just like you." She went on to list all the nastiest villains and the best heroes in the galaxy. Finally, she told Wander what her and Tumbleweed did for a living.

"So you guys help all kinds of people from all kinds of planets?" Wander squealed like a fangirl and draped his arms over Sylvia's neck. "Awesome!"

Sylvia snorted. "It's all fine and dandy until your counterpart almost gets us both killed." She glanced pensively at Wander. "Seriously, Tumbleweed's just like you."

"And my sister's just like you!"

"Well, what about your galaxy?" Wander then told her all about his galaxy and his family. While Wander was talking, Sylvia spotted a peaceful-looking planet full of cornfields and headed for it.

"Hmph. Mom always gets defensive for little guys. No offense."

Wander smiled. "None taken." He was so glad that Sylvia was around to help him, even though it wasn't his Sylvia.

Sylvia landed on the planet. They were surrounded by cornstalks. "Now where are we?" They both heard shrill shrieking and saw cerulean blue space crows guffawing at something near them.

"What's going on?"

Wander gasped in fright. "Oh my grop! It's a sentient scarecrow being mangled by a gang of crows! Let's go, Sylvia!" He hopped off of her back and raced to the crows, with Sylvia trailing right behind him. They saw a poor eyeball with a small body on the ground, and the massive crows were jeering and harassing him.

Sylvia and Wander paused to stare at the victim. "Huh. That's no scarecrow -"

"DO I LOOK LIKE A SCARECROW?!"

While Wander tried to get to the center of circle formed by the crows, Sylvia began wagging her fists around and threatening the gang.

"Scram! Shoo! Pick on someone your own size!"

One pecked at Sylvia's face, but he soon realized that was a big mistake. Sylvia immediately gave him a black eye, scaring the brave crow's friends and sending all of them flying.

After they flew away, Wander knelt down to the monocular being. "You okay, little guy?" He asked gently. But that only made the eyeball aim his gun at him.

"Halt!"

Wander simply slapped the gun away and picked him up. "You're so familiar and cute!" He searched his hat and gave Sylvia a camera. Picture time!"

The eyeball began to panic. "No! No! Not the flash! NOT THE FLASH!" Sylvia took the picture anyway, and Wander got an odd sense of déjà vu.

"AHHHH! MY EYE! You will pay for - "

"What are you blinking about?" Sylvia snapped. "Look, we're sorry about your eye, but we just saved you from those crows! Couldn't you act a little grateful?"

The stranger just placed his helmet back on, which had a long, yellow lightning bolt on it. "I was doing just fine until you two came along and interfered. I was handling their childish aggression perfectly."

"Suuure. You were only screaming and bawling your eye out until we got here."

"Sylvia!" Wander scolded, standing with arms akimbo. "You're not being nice. He's obviously still a little shaken."

"I am not scared of those stupid crows!" The eyeball cried defensively. "I just... " His voice softened a measure. "I just wish I was taller... and stronger..." He glanced up at Sylvia. "Like her!"

Blushing, Sylvia averted her eyes. "Gee, thanks, buddy."

"Don't mention it." The stranger sighed heavily and plopped down on one of the grassy spots in the humongous cornfield. "I used to follow one of the greatest villains in the whole galaxy," he disclosed. "Lord Hater."

Sylvia scrunched up her face in disgust. "Why? He's such a brat and a big bully!"

"But I was his commander," the eyeball confessed. "It was my job. I felt like I had power and control..." His eye turned watery. "And that that was enough. But then, he kicked me out."

"Awww." Wander patted the stranger's small back and smiled sympathetically. "You want a hug?" He quickly shook his eye.

"No! Hugs are st-stupid... Stupid like ME!" He bawled and wrapped his tiny arms around Wander's belly, and Wander quickly reciprocated the embrace. And with begging eyes, he outstretched a hand to his perturbed friend.

"Come here, Sylvia. Please?" The zbornak huffed but complied, and the trio released one another.

Sylvia winced as Wander's eyes began to light up a certain way, a certain, _clever_ way. She knew that once his eyes lit up like _that,_ he had another goofy, insane idea that he was never going to let go.

"Hey! Uh..."

"It's Peepers."

"Peepers, why don't you come with us to see the wizard? Maybe he can make you taller and stronger!"

"A wizard?" The stranger looked at the duo skeptically. "Sounds like a scam!"

"No, it's not." Sylvia argued. "Princess Demura said it was the only way to get this guy - " She gestured to Wander. "- Home. Besides, what have you got here?"

The eyeball looked around for a minute before nodding slowly. She was right. He was simply wandering, homeless and unemployed, until the pair showed up and saved him. "It's worth a try." His eye shined a little more, and he hopped on Sylvia's back. "Let's go!"

They were back in space again, with Wander riding in the front and Peepers holding on to his waist. The trio flew in silence until Peepers asked a practical question.

"Which planet is this wizard on?"

"Uh..." Sylvia had no clue. Demura did not mention the name of the planet.

"Let's go ask for directions," Wander suggested. He scanned some planets before pointing to a planet full of flora, fauna, and misty rainbows. "Let's go to that one! Looks like there are some friendly peeps there!"

"But that one looks suspicious," Peepers disagreed, squinting at the planet. He spotted another, darker one and pointed to it. "Let's go to that one!"

Both Sylvia and Wander glanced at the dark planet in disbelief. Stormy gray clouds amassed. Lightning bolts struck the planet to its core. Jagged rocks littered the surface. In short, it was no picnic.

"Are you mental?" Sylvia hissed at Peepers.

"Let's just try it!" Peepers insisted. He did not like being wrong one bit. "Let's just see if anyone can help us. If not, we leave."

Wander shrugged and decided to take Peeper's side. "Why not, Sylvia? I mean, with all that rainfall I bet there's a nice fat lake we can swim in for a bit!"

* * *

The trio did not see a living soul on the nameless, barren planet until they came upon a black, Gothic castle with grandiose arches, flying buttresses, and stained glass windows depicting scenes of war and the fiercest dragons.

Wander decided to look around the courtyard, with a reluctant Peepers and Sylvia right behind him, when an old, hunchbacked croon revealed herself. She was presumably royalty, for a golden crown was perched on her evident, white wig. She had wrinkly, cyan skin and wore an elegant, black and magenta dress. Her teeth were browner than dirt, but her bright, fuschia eyes radiated with youth and a thirst for infinite power.

"Hello, sonny!" The elderly queen greeted Wander. "I am Queen Entozoa." She held out her wrinkled hand, anticipated a kiss from all three, but only Wonder smooched the aged knuckles.

"Hello there! Folks call me Wander. This is Sylvia, and this is Peepers. And we really love your planet."

The queen forcibly chuckled until she choked. "Why, thank you! I just conquered it!" Both Sylvia and Peepers held Wander back.

"What?!"

Queen Entozoa grabbed Wander by his shoulders, and purple mist emerged from the queen's chapped lips. Then, to the zbornak and eyeball's horror, the mist began to form into a face and speak.

"And now..." The spirit eyed Wander greedily. "I have a new, young vessel."


	6. Chapter 5: The Single Guy

Chapter 5: The Single Guy

Several guards appeared and surrounded the trio. Peepers instantly took out his gun and aimed it at them.

"Stay back!" He warned in a shrill, tiny voice. "I - I'm armed - " The gun was, once more, flicked away with a flick of the wrist.

"You could seriously use another weapon, dude." Sylvia muttered, cracking her knuckles and preparing herself for a melee.

Peepers ignored her and bowed before the sinuous entity, who was slithering around Wander. "We're just nomads! Please spare us!"

The spirit just cackled and shook its head. "Fools, all of you! Grab them all, but keep the one in the hat near me." The guards did as they were told, and the demon grinned wolfishly at them all.

"This old, frail vessel is dead." He nodded to the queen, whose corpse had indeed slumped to the ground. "My time has come to transition. I need to inhabit a fresher, lithe one, and who is a better candidate than the legendary hero with _the_ hat?"

Wander gasped and froze in shock. "You mean..."

Sylvia bit her lip. Who knew trouble would reach them so quickly?

"Wander, I know it's scary, but I promise we'll - "

"Peepers!" Wander squealed excitably and gawked at the eyeball as if he had just noticed him. "Why didn't you tell us you were a legendary hero with a hat?" Peepers responded with a facepalm.

"Thankfully, I'll own your body, not your tiny mind." The demon uttered before cackling evilly again. "Bye, bye, sonny!" But before the entity could slink into Wander's mouth, a mighty, deafening roar shook the castle grounds.

The demon growled at its guards. "That better be one of your stomachs!"

"RAWWWWR!" A massive dragon king with bronze skin, cherry red eyes, and a maroon tail and wings flew from the tallest tower of the castle and landed with a reverberating _thud._ A small, but noticeably shiny and yellow crown was perched on his head. More smaller dragons, presumably his guards, followed him and surrounded the demon's guards, outnumbering them tremendously.

" _I_ am the rightful king of this planet," the dragon king snarled at the entity, who was trembling in fear. "And I demand that you LEAVE! You have overstayed your WELCOME!" He snapped his fingers, and one of the dragons breathed a warning fireball at the demon and its guards. It landed on the queen's dead body, and Peepers barely avoided its path.

"Ah! My beautiful vessel!"

The king's guards tried to grab the demon, but that only caused the demon to get sucked into a pair of handcuffs, which one of the guards was conveniently holding.

"Grop. These are my good cuffs."

The king just stared at them like they all were morons and dismissed them with a wave. "Take them away." He turned to Wander, Peepers, and Sylvia. "And you three! Leave!"

Wander smiled amicably at the king. "Golly, thanks, mister! She was about to take Peeper's soul!"

"I don't care!" The king snapped grumpily. "Now leave and never come back!"

Wander looked up at the enraged monarch. "Why are you so angry, pal?"

"I AM NOT ANGRY! I AM A STRESSED KING SURROUNDED BY WORTHLESS GUARDS!"

As he took in a breath, Wander grabbed one of his beefy hands.

"Are you okay?"

"I AM PERFECTLY FINE! I -" Wander patted the dragon's snout, and the king's eyes began to water. "No..." He lowered his callous, monstrous voice to a mousy squeak. "I'm not." Then, before the speechless travelers, the king balled his fists, flopped down on his belly, and wailed until his voice grew hoarse.

"Weeelll... This is terribly awkward." Sylvia observed after a few tense moments passed. She grabbed Wander and Peepers and placed them on her back. "Let's go."

"Couldn't agree more!" Peepers chirped happily, but Wander just shook his head.

"No. Wait." He hopped off of Sylvia and genuflected before the mewling monarch. "Your majesty, please tell me what ails you."

The king sized Wander up before confessing. "I have an army, a wonderful and prosperous kingdom albeit on a very tiny planet. I have loyal subjects, friends, and family. I have everything..." He sniffed. "But a queen, a lover, a wife... He gazed up at the stars above them longingly. "A _best_ friend!"

Wander found himself tearing up a bit as well, but he quickly rubbed his eyes before consoling the king. "You're highness, I'm so, so sorry." The same idea Wander had earlier hit him at full force. "May I suggest something?"

The king rolled his eyes and buried his wet face in his arms. "Why not? Amuse me."

Wander hopped energetically and pulled Sylvia and Peepers over to him. "Why don't you come with us? Folks call me Wander. This is Sylvia and Peepers."

Sylvia shrugged, deciding that they might as well help one more person. "We're going to see a wizard," Sylvia added. "He can get you a lucky gal or guy."

"He's going to make me taller and stronger!" Peepers announced, earning chuckles from the king's guards. This, however, only irritated their king.

"SILENCE! LEAVE!" His guards left, and he turned to Wander and lowered his voice. "I don't believe you."

"But Princess Demura _said_ the wizard Major Threat would!" Wander insisted.

The king's eyes suddenly brightened, for he had just then noticed something indicative. "You _do_ wear the hat, I see. Hmm..." He turned from the group and began pacing. Then, after a minute of mumbling to himself, he returned his gaze to Wander. "Alright, say that I do join you on this journey to see this wizard. What would I do about my kingdom? I can't just leave it!"

"Uh, yeah you can!" One of the guards interrupted from inside the castle. "What about your cousin? You could, like, see his planet from here."

"But I can't _stand_ my cousin!" The king whined. "Can't someone else do it?" When no one responded, his shoulders sagged. "Fine, and I am King Draykor, FYI."

"Yay!" Wander pulled a picnic basket from his hat. "Who wants lunch? 'Cuz I do!"

Peepers marveled at the hat. "How... How did you do that?"

"Oh! This? Well this hat is just full of super duper good ol' goodies! There's orbble juice and pickle juice and gumdrops and a banjo like the one I have at home and -"

"It's the hat," Draykor answered for Peepers as Wander continued babbling. "It has everything and yet knows not what you want, but what you need. Such power... Not even I, a king, can imagine wearing such a treasure. It's truly incredible." He gave Wander his friendliest grin. "You really are lucky, my caring friend."

Wander beamed. He loved making new friends. "Why, thank you! I guess I am..." _But all I really want is my old galaxy back._

 _"_ Not very lucky for long!" A familiar voice sang. Lord Dominator emerged and posed, sneering at all four.

Her eyes finally rested on the main target. "Hello, Wander."

Wander gulped audibly. He was not prepared to face her again. Although he saw some good in her like he saw good in everyone, he could tell it was deeply buried goodness.

"H-How do you know my name?"

Dominator feigned a gasp. "Oh, don't you know? You're becoming quite a name in this vast galaxy. You're the _legendary hero..._ Pft! As -"

"Achoo!"

Dominator twitched. "As -"

"Achoo! Excuse me." Wander grinned sheepishly.

Smoke almost poured out of her ears. "AS -"

"Achoo! Sorry."

"Bless you." Sylvia, Peepers, and Draykor told him politely.

"Thanks, guys."

"AS IF!" The villainess bellowed, knocking Peepers and Wander off their feet. "You're just an infuriating, banjo-playing hobo!"

Sylvia helped Wander up and glared at Dominator. "Watch it, missy!" She cracked her knuckles and jabbed the smirking conqueror in the chest. "Too bad your precious army of mindless bots ain't here to protect you, Dominator! 'Cuz I'm about to wipe that smirk off your stupid face!"

The green-skinned woman just chuckled and patted Sylvia, who looked ready to pound her, on the head. "How adorably deplorable!" She pushed Sylvia aside and sized up the others. "And look who you else you've roped into your pathetic team... A peeping Tom and a dragon king who smells like aftershave and wet dog." Peepers glared, while Draykor subtly sniffed himself.

Dominator grabbed the pair and looked them dead in the eyes. "I'm warning you. Stop helping these thieves, or I'll tie you to a tree, mutt!" Draykor slumped in her grasp. "And you!" She grabbed a can of galactic pepper spray, which had been in her hidden, black fanny pack the whole time, and sprayed some in his defenseless eye.

"AAAH!" Dominator dropped them, and Peepers thrashed on the ground once more. "MY EYE! MY POOR EYE!"

Dominator giggled as he suffered. " _Eye've_ got my _eye_ on you." She snickered. "Did I hit an _optic nerve?_ Watch out! I'm _SEE_ rious!"

"Enough puns!" Peepers begged. Wander and Sylvia thankfully helped the little guy get back up on his feet.

"We're not afraid of you," Sylvia declared proudly for the four of them. "And Wander's the rightful owner of the hat whether you like it or not."

"I mean... I would give it to you if I could, but I kinda need it to return home -"

"And we'll protect him!" Draykor asserted courageously. "Right, Peepers?"

"OW! RIGHT! OW!"

Dominator just grinned slyly. "Ooh! How terrifying!" She then grabbed the four travelers. But this time, she was in her full armor and two were in each humongous hand. "Well good luck reaching your home after _this_!" She stepped back and threw them into outer space.


	7. Chapter 6: The Hater

Chapter 6: The Hater

 **Author's Note: I love the tree scene and the forest scene from _The Wizard of Oz_ , so I had to include them here. **

Their landing was sloppy, but they all managed to reach a planet unscathed after an unfortunate encounter with a certain _,_ cold-hearted adversary. (Sylvia, personally, had other names for her, but not many of them were appropriate for Wander's ears.)

In addition, the planet they landed on looked relatively safe. They were on a grassland. A forest with a plethora of diversity was nearby, and there was not a soul in plain sight. Therefore, everyone agreed that they all should move forward after exploring the planet for any possible, usable resources

During their short walk to the forest, however, Peepers began looking around a bit more. "Did she throw us into another galaxy?" He proposed, trying but failing to sound casual instead of fretful.

Sylvia snorted at his assumption. "Please! No one's that strong!"

Draykor nodded in agreement and pointed to another planet in the distance. "Look! That's the planet we were on." It looked like a dirt red ping pong ball from where they stood, but it was certainly better than not seeing the planet at all.

Wander was skipping gaily and following the rest of the crew when his stomach began to moan and groan. He tried to hide it, but Sylvia just gave him a small grin and stopped.

"I hear you, buddy. We all could use a bite, right guys?" Both Peepers and Draykor paused and nodded.

"You still have that basket?"

"Yep!" Wander nodded and fished for it. It took him no time at all to find it and pull it out. But just as he was about to open it, Peepers sprinted over to the trees.

"Guys! Apples!" He jumped as high as he could, but he ultimately gave up and decided to climb the tree instead.

The other three reached the trees, and Wander stowed away the basket. "Great! That means more food!"

"More food for this trip," Sylvia added.

Wander was the first to try to grab one, but the tree's branches suddenly smacked Wander's hand away.

"Ow!"

A fierce, sneering face formed from the tree's aged bark. Holes in the bark served as its eyes, and its molded eyebrows furrowed in anger. Soon, more faces formed on more trees, each glaring hatefully at the wanderers.

 _"How dare you!"_ The tree in front of them rasped in a gravelly voice. _"These are my apples! You have no right to just come over here and pick it!"_ The tree felt Peepers on one of its branches and shook him off harshly.

Brushing himself off, Peepers glared right back at the tree. "I _knew_ there was something fishy about this forest!"

"Sure you did," Sylvia mumbled.

"You're _trees_!" Peepers reasoned, though exasperatedly. "You have fruit! He's hungry! We're all hungry! Get the picture?"

 _"Blasphemer!"_ One of the trees cried.

 _"You arrogant little fool!_ " The first tree admonished. _"How would you like it if someone picked an apple off of you, pipsqueak?"_

"We apologize," Draykor spoke for his companions. He had never encountered sentient trees, so this was as new to him as it was to the other three. "We did not know that you would mind, much less sense - "

 _"Well, you do now!"_ The tree barked. _"Now scram!"_

"Well, I never!" Draykor declared, offended. "I've never encountered such rude trees before! How dare you use such a tone before a king!"

Sylvia began pushing the three guys further and further from the trees. "Come on, gang. Those apples are probably rotten anyway." She grabbed one of the apples before the trees could stop her, took a huge, juicy bite out of it, and spat it out. "Ugh! They are! Boy, that stumped me!" It was actually a decent treat, but the zbnornak felt the urge to deliberately burn wood.

 _"BLASPHEMY! ATTACK!"_ An onslaught of delicious red apples headed their way, and the four hurriedly scrambled away to safety. But as Wander was fleeing and gathering fallen apples, he heard something bizarre.

 _"It's bad enough that the evil overlord is a sabotaging buffoon who has invaded our planet and destroyed our cultivated fields and enslaved us!"_ One of the trees moaned in agony.

Curious, Wander ran back over to the trees, skillfully dodging the apples, and approached the saddened tree.

"Who? Who is this evil overlord?"

 _"That fool Lord Hater. He's the worst villain ever, but doesn't mean he is incapable of damaging lives and being a moron!"_ The tree bawled hopelessly. _"So you must forgive my friends. We cannot trust anyone anymore!"_

The trees abruptly stopped throwing their fruit and paused to listen to their troubled, sobbing friend. Wander nodded understandably and patted the tree comfortingly.

"I'm sorry. Maybe he'll change his ways?" But before the tree could retort, Peepers rushed over to Wander and grabbed his arm.

"Wander! I've gathered the others! We must hide deeper into the forest. Now!"

Wander pouted. "Why, Peepers? The trees are nice -" The trees whooshed around them as a gigantic ship shaped like a skull landed right beside the wooded area.

Peepers sweated and tugged Wander's arm some more. "That's why! Oh grop! It's - It's _him_! _"_

 _"_ Who?"

The hyperventilating eyeball just pushed Wander's back. "Hide in the woods! Hide!" They soon found Sylvia and Draykor and trekked further into the forest.

After a minute or so of silent walking, Wander broke the silence. "Are we playing hide and seek? Because if we are, I don't think this is how it all works. We shouldn't all be hiding unless there's a designated seeker -"

"Shush!" Peepers hissed, trying to clear his mind of any worry and failing miserably. His eye widened when they heard a sudden rumble.

"The ship's coming closer," Draykor whispered. They all halted to listen.

Sylvia, however, did not stay daunted for long and urged everyone else to keep going. But when she started looking around, she began feeling a little tense. It was almost as if someone was lurking behind the trees, watching them, waiting to jump.

"Is it just me or is this forest kind of creepy?" She asked jokingly, attempting to lighten the mood. But Peepers just rolled his eye.

"It's just you - " They all shook when they heard the pattering of numerous tiny feet and began to speed walk.

"M-Maybe it's a little, um, unsettling." Peepers finally admitted.

"Quite." Draykor nodded, staying close to his friends.

Wander suddenly squealed happily, making everyone around him wince. "I know what'll cheer everyone up!" He rummaged through his hat for his banjo and began to play. Somehow, his music did ease some of the tension, and the group kept moving.

But then, the sound of tiny feet grew louder, and a soft, insidious chant started. Peepers froze in his tracks when he saw familiar eyes blinking back at him.

Draykor was the first to raise his ears. "Did you heat that?"

Sylvia stopped to listen and she, too, heard the creepy mantra. "Yeah... But I can't make out what they're saying." Peepers was too terrified to move or speak.

Wander tried to translate, but it did not sound right. "Date Kate... She's willlin'? Maybe there's a pep rally nearby?" The chanting grew louder, and they could all see the blinking eyes.

"A pep rally..." Peepers whispered fearfully. "Wouldn't be all around us...A-And getting terribly closer to us." And then, all they saw was green and all they heard was thunder as they were knocked off their feet.

"WHO HAS SO BRAZENLY LANDED ON _MY_ PLANET? _MY_ TERRITORY?!" A tall, furious skeleton dressed in a blood red and black robe came into view, with thousands upon thousands of his monocular minions (who looked exactly like Peepers) behind him. Yellow lightning bolts struck out from the side of his robed head, and his bright green sclera focused on the four.

But what Peepers remembered and feared the most about this intimidating figure were his bony hands. They crackled and borne green lightning, ready to strike and electrocute their victim.

This wicked leader was infamously known and remembered across the galaxy as Lord Hater, the greedy and selfish planetary conqueror, accompanied by his army of watchdogs.

Sylvia and Draykor, taken off guard by the sudden attack, watched thunderstruck as Wander crawled on all fours, backing away from the looming menace. Peepers would have tried to intervene, but his poor body hit a tree during the blast. He was so disoriented that he could barely sit up.

Meanwhile, Wander, for the first time in a while, was really scared. He recalled the counterpart Lord Hater from his galaxy, but that Hater never attacked him so quickly. Plus, no one expected his clamorous arrival, and it caught the nomadic alien off guard.

"You shall pay for your foolishness," Hater seethed. Wander blinked. What had he done? What had _any_ of his friends done? "You shall suffer the full wrath of..." He paused for dramatic effect, arms raised up to the sky. "LORD HATER!" His army of eyeballs immediately chanted _"Hate's great! Best villain"_ thereafter.

Hater was inches from grabbing Wander when Sylvia stood up. "Hey! Leave him alone!"

The overlord simply snapped his fingers, and the zbornak was surround by a throng of watchdogs. Undaunted, Sylvia cracked her knuckles and began mercilessly punching the helpless watchdogs who were in her way.

"You're pushing it, zbornak." Hater turned his attention to Peepers, who had recovered from his dizzy spell but was quivering incessantly. "Peepers..." His green eyes narrowed to slits. "Meandering with hobos, hmm?" Hater then regarded Draykor condescendingly, who remained on the ground. "And _you_! Has the king finally lost his marbles?" He chortled darkly, and his army followed mechanically.

"Fight me, any of you four cowards! For I am the greatest villain in the galaxy!" Right after the boasting left Hater's mouth, Wander wrapped his lanky arms around Hater's torso.

"Wow! Congratulations!" Wander complimented sincerely, but Hater only shoved him away.

"Get off of me!"

Sylvia was still fighting the watchdogs when she saw Hater push Wander. And with a ferocious growl, she knocked the rest down like bowling pins, raised her fist, and socked Hater across the face.

"Don't touch him!"

Wander, Peepers, Draykor, and all the watchdogs froze as the villain's jaw trembled and he released a raucous wail. Then, Hater plopped down on his bottom, hugged his knees to his chest, and hid his pitiful countenance.

Wander gasped and wagged his finger at Sylvia. "Sylvia, how could you? You made him cry!"

"Because he hurt you!"

"No, he didn't. He only shoved me." Wander turned to Hater and softly patted his back. "There... It's okay, buddy." He reached into his hat and pulled out a box of tissues. He gave one tissue to Hater, who took it gratefully and blew noisily into it.

"I'm sorry she hit you. And Sylvia's sorry, too. Aren't you, Syl?" The zbornak just grunted.

Draykor, after brushing himself off, joined Wander and Sylvia. Only, he kept his scornful look on Hater, who hadn't bothered to look up. "He deserved that hit," the king asserted, "for being so discourteous, arrogant, and cowardly. What kind of a villain cries in front of his army and his victims?"

Hater finally looked up, staring at anything but anyone. "I - I'm no villain." He admitted in a voice so soft that everyone had to strain their ears to hear him. "I just pretend to be one. Nobody loves me! I'm an unemployed skeleton with only eyeballs for friends!" He glanced at Peepers, who was no longer afraid. "I fired Peepers..." _My only true friend..._ "Because villainy was causing me to cut eyes and paychecks. And it still is!" His soldiers fidgeted nervously at that.

"No one takes me seriously!" He finally raised his voice and rose. "I want to be a _real_ villain! But I - I didn't even make it on the Top 10 list!" _And I'm so darn scared of everything,_ he confessed mentally.

Although he firmly believed in good overpowering evil with love, Wander couldn't stand to see anyone, even the most terrible menace, unhappy. So, Wander automatically wrapped his arms around Hater again. Only this time, Hater only shut his eyes and accepted the embrace.

"I'm so, so sorry, Hater." Wander gently took one of Hater's gloved hands. "Why don't you come with us? We're off to see the wizard! Maybe he can give you the title you deserve - "

"Um, Wander?" Sylvia ushered for Wander to come closer to her. "A word." They, with Peepers and Draykor, huddled in a tight circle, far enough from Hater and his minions.

"We cannot and will not take him with us," Sylvia whispered. But Wander shook his head.

"But Sylvia! He's miserable! Look at him!"

"I agree with our lady friend," Draykor whispered. "He's a dastardly, insolent - "

"He has an army under his command," Peepers mentioned, talking more to himself than the group. He was mulling over the idea, setting past feelings aside, because Peepers knew Hater could be a valuable asset.

Sylvia looked at Peepers in disbelief. "We can't take all of them!"

Draykor, however, began to look persuaded. "What about his ship?"

Peepers popped out of the huddle. "How's your ship... sir?" _It's been a while since I called him that,_ Peepers thought bitterly.

"Dead battery."

"Well, there's that. But he can ditch the army. He's good at ditching. And since he's attempted to conquer so many planets, he should know the galaxy more than any of us!"

"But you worked with him," Sylvia argued. "So shouldn't you know, too?"

"Good point, but three eyes are better than one."

Draykor hummed in agreement. "And he is powerful."

"And handsome..." Wander mused dreamily with a goofy grin. Sylvia gagged beside Wander and knocked on his head, just to make sure it was still functioning properly.

"And he can protect us from Dominator," Peepers whispered confidently. "He's just as powerful as her."

"And he seems to be a good hugger!"

Sylvia did not know which was more disturbing: the fact that her companions were thinking about letting a planetary conqueror join them and get his wish, or the fact that her best friend was staring at Hater like he actually was the greatest in the galaxy. And that seemed to make Hater feel better.

For her sanity, Sylvia focused on the former. "Are we seriously considering helping _him_? Wander, he's a bad guy!"

Wander finally gave her some attention. "I know, but we gotta help him! How would you feel if you had no purpose? Villainy is his! And, he's not a destroyer! He's a conqueror." He turned to Hater. "Right, Hatey?"

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever... But don't call me that!"

"Please, Sylvia." Wander was on his knees and puckering his pouting lips. " _Please_?" Sylvia tried to look away, but she knew resistance was futile.

 _Darn eyes,_ she thought with a small smile. _Too flarbin' cute._

"Sigh... Alright. He can come. But if he hits anyone innocent, he hits the road."

Wander smiled hugely and bounced over to Hater, who was waiting for the verdict. "Hater, buddy! Come with us! The wizard will give you what you want!"

Peepers nodded briskly. "That's right, sir! And he's gonna make me taller and stronger." Some of his former co-workers glared at him with envy.

"And he's going to find me somebody to love," Draykor announced wistfully.

Hater snorted at their wishes, but his mind was made up; for far too long he craved the idea of being adulated for his pure evilness. "Fine." He gave Peepers a steely glare. "But don't think I'm going to rehire you, Peepers!"

The little eyeball just sighed tiredly. "I figured you wouldn't." Another awkward silence ensued until Wander remembered their forgotten picnic lunch.

"Who wants a picnic lunch? Any takers? Any? Any?"

A friendly soldier named Wesley emerged from the crowd. "I do!" Unfortunately, all he could taste after that was green lightning.


	8. Chapter 7: The Hunter

Chapter 7: The Hunter

 **Author's Note: Sorry, gang, but I'm not adding every single character from _W.O.Y._ If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. Anyway, Merry (belated) Christmas and enjoy!**

Meanwhile, in outer space, Lord Dominator was watching them all from her ship's computer, cackling with glee. "Hopeless idiots! Mercy, of all the inane stragglers..." The lime-skinned woman slumped in her chair and snapped her fingers. "Computer! Get the coordinates of their next location and transmit them to Bot 17. Bot 17! Go there and hire a bounty hunter to lure these dorks over to me."

 _"Any particular bounty hunter?"_ The robot droned.

Dominator grinned wider than the Cheshire cat. "Yes..."

* * *

After lunch, the five travelers said their goodbyes to the watchdogs and left via orbble bubble. This time, King Draykor and Lord Hater walked beside Sylvia, holding on to her reins, while she had Wander and Peepers on her back. Everyone just calmly stared off into space, enjoying the tranquility and captivating view.

The peace of space travel was interrupted by a boisterous belch from Lord Hater.

King Draykor huffed. "Excuse you!" Hater was about to retort, but Sylvia decided to beat him to it and touch on a more pressing subject.

"So... where does this wizard live anyway, Wander?"

Wander just grinned confidently. "Oh, Sylvia! Remember what the princess told us? He lives in - Oh geez. She didn't say, did she?" He began looking around himself. "And there are no more yellow stars to follow!"

Peepers shrugged nonchalantly. "No matter. We'll just ask for directions."

 _"Help me! Help me!"_

Wander fiercely tugged on the reins, halting the ride, because he had heard the faintest cries for help from a nearby planet. Everyone else heard them, too, but Sylvia was not so easily convinced.

 _If I didn't know any better,_ Sylvia thought to herself, _I'd say those cries seem a little... forced and... robotic...Oh, Wander, please just ignore it and -_

"Sylvia! We gotta help! Someone's in trouble again!"

 _Why did I expect anything different?_ Sylvia groaned to herself. "Wander, I know what you're thinking, but doesn't that voice sound a bit strange to you?"

"Oh, Sylvia! You've heard all kinds of voices, haven't you? We mustn't be so quick to judge."

"We don't have time for that!" Lord Hater snapped harshly. "We need directions!" Then, as if on cue, the planet's massive skyscrapers towering over its biggest city flashed in bright, neon green letters, _WE PROVIDE DIRECTIONS!_

Wander smiled and gestured to the planet. "Problem solved."

"I'm twitching," Peepers spoke up nervously. "So that means something's fishy."

"You're sure it's not just because you're a persistent pessimist?" Sylvia couldn't help herself. Peepers looked like the stereotypical nerdy kid that bullies used to pick on. It wasn't that Sylvia thought bullying was acceptable, but she knew seeing the eyeball turn red would brighten her day.

And, just as she assumed, Peepers flushed angrily and looked ready to cuss away comets as Sylvia cracked a smile. "I am NOT a persistent pessimist!"

"Sure..."

"Sylvia, come on! Let's go help him or her!" Sylvia complied, and everyone landed in the planet's most urban area. Pedestrians of all species scattered, out and about. Hovering cars, jeeps, and buses zipped from one place to another. Shopkeepers and vendors tried to lure customers over to their knickknacks and souvenirs. The aromas of stews, sweets, and other treats of edible goodness emanated from the restaurants and diners and mingled with the crisp air. But among all the hustle and bustle, Wander could not find anyone who looked like they needed help.

"Helloooo?" Wander shouted. "Does anybody need any help?" He hopped off of Sylvia and frowned confusedly. "Huh. I thought I heard someone..." Draykor was about to suggest that they move on, but Wander spotted a small, big-eyed kitten holding the body of a decapitated teddy bear and pouting adorably at the neglecting passersby.

 _Just our luck,_ Sylvia thought bitterly as Wander's eyes grew huge and tearful at the sight of the poor kitty.

"Hewo." The cute kitten greeted the five with watery violet eyes. "I'm Wittle Bits. Could you help me?"

Wander practically melted at the sight of Little Bits. "Aw, you're so cute!" His eyes began to turn bright green, and they never left the kitten. "Of course we'll help you!"

Little Bits smiled gratefully and turned to the others. "What are your names?"

"Sylvia." The zbornak rolled her eyes at Wander. Personally, she just didn't do cute. "And this goofball's Wander. Peepers, Lord Hater, and his majesty King Draykor. We need directions to -" Little Bits suddenly purred and brushed her lavender fur against everyone's legs.

"Rewax, my fwiends..." Peepers, Hater, and Draykor froze, and their eyes turned bright green as well. Then, the kitten lured Wander and the others into a sketchy, dark alley.

Sylvia watched them all with comically wide eyes. "Are you guys kidding me? What's the matter with you all?!"

"That lisp..." Hater responded groggily. Peepers nodded dreamily.

"Too adorable..."

Sylvia could only watch as Little Bits grinned malevolently at her and whispered, "Sweep."

 _Sleep?!_ Sylvia frantically scrambled over to the swaying quartet as they fell to the ground. She picked up Wander first and lightly shook him. His bleary eyes and tired, loopy grin confirmed her fears. "Stay with me, buddy! Wander! Wander!"

Wander simply yawned and nestled in Sylvia's arms. "Gonna lie down now..." Sylvia then tried to arouse the others, but all her efforts were in vain.

Little Bits watched Sylvia amusedly. "Give up, Thylvia. Fall pwey to my gorgeous eyes - "

"Fall prey to this, lil' b!" Sylvia smacked Little Bits hard, and the kitten hit the brick wall beside her and passed out cold.

With the feline menace out of the way, Sylvia turned back to her team. "Guys! Wake up! Wander, someone's in trouble! Uh... Hater, you received the award for... the deadliest jumble of bones in the galaxy!"

"Yay..." The skeleton lord cheered sleepily, before proceeding to suck his thumb and snuggle beside Draykor. The fallen king simply held him like a teddy bear in response.

Sylvia shook Wander's shoulders again, debating on whether she needed to slap him or not. "Wander, please _wake up_!"

A buzzing sound came from Wander's pendant, and then Sylvia heard the melodic voice of Princess Demura from the necklace. "Um... I am awake, Wander. Why does your voice sound funny? Is everything okay? I've been trying to find you and tell you that - "

"It's Sylvia. Some cat named Little Bits made everyone but me fall asleep and -"

Sylvia heard the princess huff and sigh irritably. "It's Dominator's work. Listen to me; shake the necklace, and I will do what I can." Sylvia obeyed, and sparkly pepper poured out from the pendant, raining down on the fallen four.

"You're lucky," Demura told her morosely. "In five minutes, they would've been hers to control."

"Baloney!" Sylvia cried. "She looked and acted just like an ordinary kitten. What's her deal?"

"Her cute eyes seem harmless and temptingly soothing to the senses," the kind princess explained patiently. "But they're deadly. Some cats like her have been enslaving thousands for ages." Right after Demura said that, everyone else slowly but surely woke up.

"W-What happened?" Wander inquired.

"Sylvia and I helped you and your friends," Demura replied from the pendant. "And now, I must go." But right after her presence left the pendant, Demura remembered something drastic. Unfortunately, it was too late.

"Crap." No one said princesses couldn't cuss on their own time.

* * *

As soon as Dominator witnessed her hunter's failure and Demura's intrusion, she told some of her robots to fetch Little Bits. Once they arrived, she unceremoniously began destroying a bunch of them carelessly and violently.

"That prissy, intervening wench! Who does she think she is?! Waving her magic in everyone else's business?!"

Kitty hesitantly cleared her throat and sidled over to Dominator. "I - I still get paid though, wight, your evilness?"

"Aw..." Dominator crooned and pet the tiny kitten on the head. But then, she outstretched her left hand and froze Little Bits.

"NOOO! Take her away!" Her robots obeyed and dragged the shivering, frozen kitten to a prison cell. "And when she thaws, clean up the water and dump it on her head! Maybe that'll teach her not to disappoint me."

Truly, the notorious villainess was greatly disappointed. She had wanted that hat ever since she was little, and it was left in the hands of a random, philanthropic star nomad. The thought of that bumpkin wearing what was rightfully hers, the most powerful hat in the galaxy no less, made Dominator's blood boil and veins pop.

"Oh well... Demura will get what's coming to her later. For now..." Dominator plopped down on her swivel chair and turned to her computer. "I need my hat, and I need it now. Computer! Show me galactic footage of that wandering weirdo and his lame friends." The computer did so, but Dominator was unimpressed. "Closer." What she saw made her giggle until it hurt. "Shut up! I didn't even recognize him before! Lord Hater, that big, babbling, idiotic baby is helping those losers? How fitting."

She stretched and rolled her eyes at all the stupidity. "Whatevs. The kid doesn't know how the hat works anyway, so he won't really be hard to catch -"

"Wow, guys!" Wander marveled the inside of the hat. "My left hand is on another planet! Now it's here! Now it's there! Now it's here! Now it's there! Here! There! Here! There! Here! There! Here! There!"

"If that hat can do that, why can't it take us all to the wizard?" Draykor mused wisely. Everyone else perked up and nodded.

"Yeah!"

"Right!"

"Of course!"

"Then what in this entire galaxy are we waiting for?"

"Great idea, Draykor!" Wander praised before giving the hat a modest look. "Uh... may we go to where the wizard Major Threat is, please?" The hat revealed their destination, and Wander hopped right inside of it. Then, his four friends hopped into the hat, too, all mysteriously sliding into the hat with no trouble.

Dominator stared at the projection for a few more moments with twitchy eyes. Then, she uttered, "I'm calm" multiple times. Even her robots, who obviously lacked empathy, were programmed to show a little concern when their creator happened to malfunction and repeat phrases like a madwoman.

"Ma'am - "

"I AM FINE!" She blasted a poor robot at the wrong place and time. Then, she smoothed down her choppy white hair and stomped into the kitchen. "I'm gonna make myself some tea, eat some cookie dough, and destroy a few dozen planets. Do NOT disturb me... unless you'd like being a useless pile of demolished junk."


	9. Chapter 8: The Threat

Chapter 8: The Threat

After the five vagabonds leaped in and out of the magical hat, they landed on another strange planet. There was nothing but greenery around and behind them. But in front of them stood a tall, looming, golden wall that stretched for miles on both sides. They could see the tips of impressively huge and glittering, emerald green towers, which stood behind the wall. Footsteps could be heard, vaguely, on the other side. But other than that, it was eerily quiet, save for the sounds of the trees swaying in the breeze and the birds chirping and settling.

Wander put his hat back on and Sylvia whistled lowly. "Fortified little city, ain't it?" She said what everyone was thinking.

Draykor nodded. "Indeed. It must be soundproof."

"How can a wall be soundproof?" Peepers squinted up at the top of the wall and then looked left and right. "Well, I suppose there must be something invisible we're not seeing. Wizard's magic, I suppose. Anyway, there has to be some way in."

"There's a guard over there," Draykor spotted.

"Let's go!" Wander cried excitedly with a bounce in his step. The rest shrugged and followed the gregarious nomad. "Hi! Is this where the wizard lives?"

The guard, a grumpy looking sheep, who was about as tall as Lord Hater, growled at the unusual bunch. "Who's asking?"

"Us," Peepers quipped. "And we all wish to see the wizard."

Hater pushed Peepers aside and puffed out his chest. "We _demand_ to see him -" The guard simply pointed her spear at him. "If, er, that's okay with you, of course... and I'll be over here!" He cowered behind Sylvia, who gave him the stink eye.

The guard sniggered at them. "No one can see the marvelous Major Threat! No one has ever seen him!"

"Then... How do you even know he exists?" Sylvia wondered aloud, cocking her head. This evidently stumped the sheep, as she quickly stuttered a pathetic response.

"W-Well - I - er..." Her baby blue eyes trailed upward. "H-He puts on an annual fireworks display!"

"Anyone can flarpin' do that!"

"You're all just wasting my time and yours!" The ram ignored her comeback and pointed her spear at them. "Now leave quietly or leave by force."

"Please!" Wander begged, approaching the guard. "You've gotta let us in! Princess Demura sent me!"

Sylvia perked up instantly and silently thanked Wander for his quick thinking. "Yeah! See the hat?" But the guard continued sniggering.

"Bah! That could be any old - " Sylvia took Wander's hat, giving him a wink, and pulled out his banjo, a deck of cards, and the picnic basket from the hat.

The ram scratched her chin, still unimpressed. "Well, aren't you special?"

Hater, Peepers, Draykor, and Sylvia then proceeded to pull out all kinds of things from the hat, including a teddy bear, a pair of headphones, a pack of juice boxes, and even several water balloons. One water balloon landed on the already grouchy guard.

"Oh, FINE!" The drenched, enraged sheep took one look at Wander and his hat, weighing her options. If she forced the newcomers to leave, then she could finally have some relief. And, she would possibly be preventing future turmoil. (Not everyone who wanted to see the wizard was a perfect little angel. That's what a taser and free _Major_ t-shirts were for, perhaps.) Unfortunately, she also knew that the alternative was a much better choice. She could not deny that the star nomad was the owner of the hat, and disobeying Princess Demura was not the best idea.

"Fine," she grumbled, signaling the hidden gatekeeper on the other side to let them inside the city. "Go! Get away from me." A segment of the gigantic wall slid open, permitting their entrance.

"Thank you!" Wander sang. He stopped bouncing as soon as he saw the enclosed city. "Ooh... glittery..." He fished for a camera from his hat and snapped a few photos.

All of them marveled the small, sparkling city, with its emerald edifices taller than any buildings they have ever seen and the multiple, intersecting streets among them. Citizens scurried to their destinations, with raised chins and bright smiles, as if they were the happiest people alive. And from what the travelers could see, they had no reason to be unhappy. Business thrived in this large city, everyone was well-off, and, as shallow as it sounded, the townspeople looked absolutely gorgeous in their vivid green suits, jackets, dresses, shawls, and pencil skirts among other things and a variety of stylish accessories.

The wall's opened slot slid shut, and all the citizens stopped to stare inquisitively at the newcomers. Wander simply smiled and waved, while the rest of the four shifted their weight awkwardly. Whether to end the staring contest or to begin doing his job, a chubby brown boar marched up to the group and shook all their hands.

"Welcome! I'm Timmy. I'll be your tour guide, and I hope you enjoy your stay at the Major Metropolis."

Sylvia grinned a little uneasily. "Nice to meet you, but is this joint always kept under wraps like this?" Timmy nodded grimly.

"I'm afraid so. We are carefully chosen, loyal employees of Major Threat. There are only about five-hundred people living here. The wizard is very fastidious and rightfully so, you see, and he rewards us very generously for our work, as you can see."

"May we please see him?" Sylvia got straight to the point. The tour guide shifted a little but then smiled a little too nicely at them.

"Er... Sure! Yes! Yes, of course you may. But why don't you get a little spiffying done, eh?" He lead them to a huge salon, where hundreds of species were getting perms, manicures, pedicures, etc.

"That sounds deeelightul!" Wander squealed. "We all look kinda careworn. I mean, traveling across the galaxy will do that to you!"

Timmy nodded and went up to the receptionist. "I have five new customers, ma'am. Got anyone available?" The receptionist, a bright green space sow, nodded in reply.

"Sure. What can I do for all of you?"

Peepers scrutinized his appearance. "I could use some eye drops and maybe a nice bow." A female watchdog who worked at the salon walked up to him and tapped his shoulder.

"You've come to the right place! Follow me, sir." Peepers sighed dreamily and waved goodbye to his friends.

Draykor eyed his hairy limbs and checked his breath. "I could stand a bit of brushing and maybe... some dental care for the occasion?" A male space dragon came up to him.

"Sure thing! But you'll have to swing by the dentist's office later." Draykor nodded and followed him.

Pouting, Lord Hater struggled to think of something wickedly awesome, since he already looked really cool in his mind. But then, it hit him. "Show me your evilest looking capes, uh... please." He promptly smacked himself. "No! Uh... I demand a glittery cape... Please." Luckily, a female skeleton ushered him to a seat before he could further embarrass himself.

"Wow, Syl!" Wander beamed at Sylvia, who was looking at some of the several salon products on display. "This place has a spot for everyone! Isn't this great?"

"Well..." Sylvia wasn't so sure about this. She had been to several places that could not serve her; salons were no exception. "This is kind of a fancy schmancy place, Wander, and I haven't seen a zbornak yet, and I don't think they have any hair gel products or shampoos for me - "

"Over here!" Sylvia and Wander craned their necks and saw a bubbly, female, red zbornak with a silver mohawk and intricate rose tattoos on both of her shoulders. "We've got everything for us zbornaks, girl: hair gel, fur brushes, fist lotion, you name it!"

Sylvia gasped and ran over to her. "This is the real deal!" Wander nodded to himself. He, too, did not believe the salon was able to accommodate his needs. But to his surprise, he found a section for star nomads and quickly chatted with the friendly workers.

"Sylvia!" He called to her from his seat. "They have outfits in my size! And fur products I can use!" He didn't mind using the zbnornak products back at home, but they often made his fur really coarse and not as soft as it could've been. "And they can change my eye color! From blue to green to match my hat!"

"No!"

Wander pouted. She reminded him too much of his motherly sister. "Aw, Syl - "

"I said no!"

Luckily, that didn't damper Wander's spirit one bit, and one of the workers offered him a sundae while he was waiting for his hairdo to dry.

"This place is AMAZING!"

* * *

"This is sudden." Emperor Awesome grinned suavely at Lord Dominator. "So babe, is there any particular reason why we're _alone_ on your ship? Is this your way of saying 'Ohhh Yes!' to my letter?"

Dominator blinked, finally processing what he was saying. She hadn't even been paying attention to him. She couldn't stop thinking about how much she loathed that fortunate wanderer all day. "What? Ew! No!" She turned from her computer to give him a death glare. "The day I date you is the day Lord Hater kisses that wandering weirdo."

"Who?" Awesome stared at her bemusedly before deciding to drop the topic. "Whatever. So what am I hear for?"

She hit one last button, and the screen showed an array of planets, temptingly unconquered. There weren't many planets, but it was enough to at least put Awesome on the top ten board.

"This delectable string of planets is all yours if you help me for today."

"Hmm..."

Dominator stifled a sigh. "And I'll go see one of your concerts."

"Hmm."

"Ugh! I'll see two, but that's it! So are you in or out?"

Awesome looked ready to reach a decision, but then he grinned condescendingly at her, which really, really irritated the villainess. "Why would _you_ need _my_ help?"

One of her gloved hands glowed with unleashed, bubbly lava, while the other bristled with barely constrained ice. Awesome shook and backed away from her, making Dominator smile.

"W-Wh-What... H-How..."

"Don't get cocky with me, shark. I only require your assistance for today."

"How do you have ice powers?!"

Dominator chuckled and raised both of her hands. "You like it? It's a little secret I've been keeping. After some idiots tried to destroy my ship's core with a frostonium ray..." She giggled and produced a flame on her right hand, and her left hand's ice snuffed it out. "They figured out that life's cold. Anyway, as for what you'll do, I'll let you know. For now, I need you to guard the fort while I pay a certain fool and his posse a visit."

"Who is this guy you hate so much?"

Dominator snarled. "Ever heard of the Legendary Hero?"

"Yeah, but why do you care about him? He killed Brad Starlight - "

"Who was my _brother_ , you idiot!" She whipped around to sneer in his face and aim her hot hand at him.

"I... I don't see the resemblance?" Awesome offered weakly. Dominator just sneered and turned back to her computer. It showed Wander and his friends in Major Metropolis, prepared to see the wizard.

"You should know this as much as I do, but I'm going to say this just so we're clear. He has my hat, _the_ hat, the most powerful object in the galaxy. With it, no one, nothing could surpass or even compare to me. Unfortunately, fate has a sick sense of humor." Dominator grinned sinisterly and shifted to her bigger, suited form. **"Luckily, so do I."** And with that, she flew off, leaving Awesome.

* * *

 _"Threatening threats, from morning till the red sun seeeets! I will be with you, my subjects, my friendsssss!"_

The musical _The Greatest_ ended, and the entire audience stood to applaud the talented actors wholeheartedly. Well, some applauded halfheartedly, such as the wandering nomad.

He truly enjoyed the musical about the wizard, but he couldn't help but think that the stage play was something that impeded their progress. Peepers, Draykor, and Hater needed to have their wishes granted, he had to get home asap, and Sylvia...

Wander stole a glance at his friend, who wore a very neutral expression throughout the musical. As he thought about it, Wander realized he had no idea why she was helping him. Perhaps it was because _her_ Wander had disappeared, and by helping him, the nomad from another universe, she could find out what happened to her original best friend.

Wander wouldn't have blamed her if that was her incentive, because he knew that his Sylvia was waiting anxiously for him to return.

 _Don't you worry, Syl. And tell the others not to worry either. I'm coming._

As the audience milled out of the amphitheater after the standing ovation, Peepers spoke up first.

"Great show, huh?"

Draykor sniffed, wiping a stray tear from his eye. "Tear-jerker. And so romantic."

"Meh." Sylvia had seen better personally.

"I hated the singing," Hater complained.

Wander shrugged and stared almost sadly ahead of him. "I just hope we can see the wizard now." But just as they left the amphitheater, Wander began to realize that he might have hoped in vain. Outside in the streets, citizens were wailing and clamoring and flailing as a familiar ship flew over the city and landed near it.

"It's Lord Dominator!" A golden, male Binglebop squealed. "Why?!"

"It's up there! Coming here!" A petite, dark-haired bounty hunter in camouflage yelled.

"We are now doomed," an even smaller woman with short, dark turquoise hair announced nonchalantly. "And we will be subjected to torture and led to, quite possibly, our ultimate demise."

Sylvia instinctively shoved Wander behind her and gulped at the sight of the ship. "How did she find us?"

"Sh-She has spies everywhere!" Peepers stammered, his tiny body quivering and his eye widening. None one else showed as much fear, but when Sylvia felt Wander's hand grasp hers, she knew he was just as afraid, if not more.

 _I'll protect you,_ Sylvia swore to herself as she glared angrily at the ship and the figure coming out of it. Dominator flew, landed, and approached the crowd in her intimidating armor. As she drew closer, Sylvia made sure they were immersed in the crowd.

Unfortunately, that didn't prevent Hater from acting like a typical braggart.

"DOMINATOR!" Hater's skeletal hands glowed green as he forced the crowd to part for him. "YOU HAVE MET YOUR -" Dominator shifted to her unprotected form, and everyone could see that the skeleton lord immediately fell prey to her feminine charms.

"Lady?!... Hubba hubba..."

Dominator smirked and poked him in the chest. Hater fell as if he were nothing but cardboard, mumbling incoherent nonsense. She casually stepped over Hater and glared hatefully at Wander, who was still the midst of the throng.

"This is your final warning, Wander. Surrender the hat, or I'll bid you and your stupid friends bye bye!"

"You don't scare any of us!" Someone shouted bravely, if not stupidly, and this only elicited a cold laugh from the bitter woman.

"Maybe not you, ignorant loser. But look around you." She reduced some buildings to ashes and froze others with outstretched palms. "I am practically the epitome of fear!" She released one last chilling cackle and flew off, leaving the petrified citizens among the destruction.

"Who was she talking to?" Someone asked.

"The wizard will know!" Another voice cried desperately. "Let's go!" This incited mass hysteria as people shouted and fought to get to the wizard, who lived in the tallest tower in the middle of the city. No one got very far, however, because several guards blocked the entrance and did their best to calm everyone down.

"HEY!" One guard roared, gaining the attention of many. "Go home! The great wizard is reviewing this messy, disturbing situation himself... I think... So just calm down and go on home! All of you." Disheartened and worried, everyone, including the rest of the guards, trudged on home, save for the five wanderers.

"Did you not hear me?" The same guard snapped incredulously at them. "All of you go home!"

"I can't go home until I meet the wizard," Wander spoke truthfully, his hand still in Sylvia's. "Please! We've come all this way -"

"No one will see him!" The guard snapped impatiently.

Wander pouted. "But I got a perm -"

"NO ONE!"

"But he's Wander!" Sylvia pointed out, catching the guard off guard.

"The one that she..." He paused, thought it over, and finally reached a reluctant decision. "Fine. I'll see what he says." Once the guard left, Sylvia smiled at her excited friends, feeling pretty proud of herself.

"There. Problem solved."

"This is wonderful, isn't it?" Peepers smiled as much as an eye could smile. "Soon I'll be tall!"

"I'll have a queen," Draykor sighed dreamily.

"And I'll be home with my family." Wander finally released Sylvia's hand and gave her a quick hug.

"After this whole shebang, buddy, I can see how in some alternate universe you'd be my little bro." She returned the embrace and gave him an affectionate noogie. "You could make anyone go soft."

Hater gagged in disgust. "Whatever. What about me? In a few hours, Lord Dominator will be history and I, Lord Hater, will be the GREATEST VILLAIN IN THE UNIVERSE! THEME MUSIC!"

"On it, Hatey!" Wander yanked out an electric guitar from the hat. Then, he plugged it in and played a heavy metal rock song like a pro, while Hater danced around wildly.

Draykor turned to both Sylvia and Peepers. "How bizarre..."

"I know! Why is there a conveniently placed outlet outside, near the tower's entrance?"

"And how does he know his theme song? You know what, forget what I asked. It's Wander."

"What? No! I mean, are they always this showy?"

"You don't know the half of it," both eyeball and zbornak groaned in unison.

 _"Who is the universe's awesomest evildoer?"_

 _"HATERRRRRRR!~ ALRIGHT!"_

"Boo."

"AHHH!" Hater released a rather high-pitched squeal and landed on his bony rump. The guard had reappeared and hissed behind them, spooking Hater and causing Wander to drop his guitar.

"The wizard commands that you all leave at once," the guard huffed.

"What? NO!" Hater began crying a little and quickly turned so that his back was facing the emotionless guard. _How am I going to regain my villainy status now?_

"B-But... I was going to be...tall and strong." Peepers was practically speechless. Draykor draped his arm around Peeper's small shoulders sympathetically, looking at his feet forlornly.

"And I just want a companion. I want to be loved..."

Wander quickly noticed that Hater was the most distressed and gently took one of his large hands.

"Hater, it's okay." Unfortunately, the star nomad didn't sound so sure of himself, and he was just as upset as Hater, if not more.

"It'll be okay." Wander meant to sound encouraging and strong, but his assurances came out croaky and dismal.

Sylvia gave the guard a heated glare and slowly walked up to Wander. "Hey, Wander? Come here - "

"No." Sylvia stepped back as if she had been struck. Sylvia had never heard Tumbleweed or Wander sound so heartbroken. She didn't know whether to be worried about Tumbleweed or disappointed in herself for not being the family Wander needed.

The nomad hugged his slender form tightly and sunk to the floor, sniffling and sulking. "I want my sister," he confessed softly. "I want to go home. I... I was so happy."

Peepers timidly patted Wander's knee. He might have not been the warmest traveling companion of Wander's, but he knew how much crushed dreams stung.

"Don't worry, Wander. We'll get inside. Won't we?" He turned to the rest of the group and looked at them expectantly, but only Draykor felt confident enough to nod. The guard continued to watch them wordlessly, but this time he was slightly curious.

Wander looked at all his new friends and dabbed his eyes. "I'm sorry I dragged you all here for nothing. But... I wanted to help you all along the way, and I couldn't do this without Sylvia. I didn't think things would be so hard." He paused to get a handkerchief out of his hat and blow his nose. "My family is so precious to me. They're the only family I've ever known, and I took them for granted...A witch sent me here, to this galaxy, a witch who resembled Lord Dominator. She threatened to hurt my family, because I-I make a mess out of everything! They are in trouble. They need me, and it's all my f-fault!"

The guard, who had been listening attentively to Wander, began to tear up himself. He loved his family of six dearly, and the idea of being separated from them and banished to another galaxy made the ram regret everything to said to them.

Sylvia tried to hug Wander, but he quickly tensed up and lightly shoved her away, glaring at his reflection in the tower's shiny, glass double doors.

"I'll never forgive myself... Never." More hot, frustrated tears streamed down his furry cheeks. And when Draykor and Hater finally joined the huddle, Wander buried his face in Hater's chest, and Hater simply bowed his head and patted Wander's back.

"P-P-Please stop!" They all craned their necks to look at the guard, who was bawling a mile a minute. "J-Just st-stop crying, damn it! Get in! Get in! I'll - I'll let you in somehow!"

Wander rubbed his reddened eyes and stared at him hopefully. "Really?"

"Yes!" The guard banged the end of his spear, and the double doors opened. "Top floor. Say as little as possible." He scurried inside to alert his employer. Seeing the dark, empty hall inside, the five tentatively entered the lustrous, mysterious tower of Major Threat.


	10. Chapter 9: The Requests

Chapter 9: The Requests

 **Author's Note: The last scene is based on _The Wiz_ film. **

**Also, in the alternate setting, some, not all, of the characters are supposed to be a little OOC because it's an alternate universe. For example, the original Hater doesn't show his fear like this Hater does, and the original Peepers couldn't stand to even be around Wander. Okay, I'm done. Enjoy!**

They took the single elevator and went up to the highest level. There, a long, dark, chilly hallway lead to another pair of double glass doors. As they slowly and cautiously tip-toed to the door, indigo blue flames illuminated the hall from each side, and an unsettling, resounding hum grew louder with every step they took together.

After the fifth pair of flames, Hater began getting cold feet. "I-I don't know know about this, guys! Isn't there another way?" He tried to sound bored, but his stuttering revealed his cowardice.

Peepers shook his eye. "No. Um, right?"

Wander shrugged a little. "That's what Princess Demura told me." His wide eyes were glued to the twin doors. "I just hope he's not... _too_ evil."

Even the king was intimidated. "Evil, you say?" He inquired. "How evil?"

"Um, guys?" Everyone else turned to Hater. "We sooo don't have to worry about that. Besides, I'm like, obviously, as evil as they come, and my awesome evilness will totally obliterate his!"

"Pft." Hater clenched his fists and let green lightening spark in Peeper's skeptical face. "Ahem. I mean, y-yes. Yes, y-you are, sir."

 **"COME FORWARD!"**

Hater released yet another high-pitched squeal and hopped into Draykor's arms, who dropped him in shock and fear. "T-Tell me when it's over!" The once proud overlord resorted to hiding behind Wander and Peepers.

After Hater quieted down, they all tightly grabbed each other's hands and reached the doors. Wander bravely knocked the door, and they slid open, revealing Major Threat's lair.

The lair was massive, spacious, and dark. The only thing they could see was the enormous fire pit in the middle of the room, the size of a small ship. Vivid blue flames as tall as Mooplexians danced in this pit, hypnotizing the five newcomers. But just when they felt comfortable enough to breathe, an artichoke green face with horns and cold, penetrating eyes appeared in the flames.

"Oh my grop," Peepers gasped. "Look at that! Look at that!" Wander and Sylvia grasped each other's already sore hands. Draykor began perspiring, and Hater looked anywhere but at the furious face. All of them were shuddering, clinging to one another for dear life.

The materialized face spoke immediately. **"I am the terrible, awesome Major Threat,"** the wizard declared haughtily, " **the powerful and unconquerable. I have crushed planets to dust, and I am the master of telekinesis, gravity, and flames!"**

To demonstrate the extent of his powers, the violet gem on his forehead glowed, and the flames rose. Then, purple lightening bolts surrounded the guests. Hater would have created a force field to protect himself and the others. But by the time the idea came to his mind, the lightning storm ended. Finally, a strong, invisible force lifted them off the ground and then quickly dropped them.

 **"Who are you?"** None of them said a word. **"WELL?! Shall I address you individually like children?! Very well..."** His sharp eyes picked a target. **"You with the hat!"**

Wander froze, but Sylvia gave him an encouraging pat on the back, and he hesitantly stepped closer. He took off his hat and kneeled respectfully.

"I am Wander, your terribleness, the... lanky and... not-so-unconquerable. We have come to -" The flames flickered some more.

 **"SILENCE!"** Terrified, Wander hastily returned to the others, peeking over Hater's shoulder.

 **"I know why you misfits have come,"** the wizard sneered arrogantly. **"All of you have requests, so I've heard, except the she-horse."**

"Zbornak - " Sylvia cursed herself and curtsied awkwardly. "Uh... your terribleness."

 **"Whatever, horse. Come forward, your majesty."** Draykor obeyed, bowing gracefully. **"You came all this way from your teeny tiny planet for love, hmm?"**

The beastly king trembled under the hardened, insensitive gaze. "Y-Yes?"

 **"How sentimental... and PATHETIC!"** Blue flames and electricity almost burned Draykor to a crisp, but he luckily flew out of the way just in time.

The dragon king was an ambitious and prudent ruler. He was not used to such ill treatment and stood his ground, his wings flapping violently. "How dare you! I am a king! I will not stand for such disrespect! And no matter how terrible, awesome, or powerful you may be -"

 **"May be? MAY BE?! Either you are ignorant or foolish because everyone in the _universe_ knows of my immense power and wrath! And if you're not careful, you cajoling fool, you will push me to unleash my wrath upon you! And that's just what you are, you cajoling, whimpering, dragon!"**

Draykor hung his head and stepped back, accepting defeat, while Hater whistled in approval.

"I love this guy, but he's so scary!" The skeleton whispered to Peepers.

 **"And you, eyeball!"** Peepers walked as if he were walking the plank and bowed lowly.

"Y-Yes?"

 **"You want a taller and stronger form, you insignificant creature?"** The wizard chortled darkly at the idea.

Peepers gulped. "Uh... Uh-huh. Is - Is that reasonable, great wizard?" His answer was a feral growl and an electrifying hit to his bum.

"YOW!"

The wizard appraised Hater as Peepers scampered back to his companions. **"And you, Lord Hater! You want to be evil like me?!"** The entity bellowed with laughter. **"GOOD LUCK!"**

The wizard's mocking laughter, his own trembling and dizziness, and the several pairs of eyes on him sent Hater to his knees, with his head hung lowly and his eyes burning with fresh tears.

Wander knelt beside Hater and patted his back. When he first met each of his three new friends, Wander knew that Hater lacked the most self-confidence. Peepers didn't need a whole galaxy's submission to strengthen him like Hater did; Peepers simply felt underestimated because of how he looked. Meanwhile, Draykor was obviously confident enough to the point that he could love and find love in a healthy, romantic relationship. Hater, on the other hand, acted so arrogantly and self-absorbed that relationships, Wander assumed, were pushed aside or, sadly, unattainable to the overlord.

Hater _acted_ a certain way, but Wander perceptively saw past that. He saw, deep, deep, _deep_ inside, someone who needed to believe in him so he could believe in himself.

And strangely, Wander wanted to be that someone.

With these thoughts in mind, Wander frowned disapprovingly at the wizard. "You otta be ashamed of yourself! We came allll this way to humbly ask for your help, and _this_ is how you greet us?"

 **"Oh, shut up, sunshine banjo face! The beneficent Major Threat has every intention of granting your stupid requests."** He uttered his so casually, so carelessly, that Wander barely registered what he was saying.

Hater perked up. "Huh? Really?"

 **"But first,"** the wizard continued, **"you must prove yourselves worthy. I don't just help anyone."**

Smiling hugely at the prospect of finally going home, Wander returned to his usual, buoyant mood. "Sure thing, mister! What do you want us to do? Mow your lawn? Cook? Slyvia can give you a piggy back ride!"

 **"Bring me the helmet of the nefarious Lord Dominator."**

"We'd have to kill her!" Draykor shouted desperately, dropping his entire royal, polished disposition. "That's barbaric and cruel!"

"And insane!" Sylvia added.

"And impossible!" Peepers squealed.

 **"Bring it to me,"** the wizard demanded unwaveringly, **"and I will grant your requests. Now..."** The flames flickered over the visage as it began to dissolve. **"...Out of my sight!"** Flames chased them out the doors, but Hater inquisitively poked his head back in with a query.

"But uh... What if she kills us first?"

 **"OUT!"** Lightning struck the skeleton, and the wizard didn't have to say another word.

* * *

"Well, I hope you're all prepared to die."

After meeting and facing Major Threat, the five vagabonds stayed in the city for another hour or so, silently dawdling and mulling over their options. Their wandering lead them to a cute coffee shop, and they all ordered steaming cups of hot cocoa. And yet, no one bothered to take a sip.

Sylvia snorted at Peeper's negativity. "Why don't we just steal it? She probably has hundreds. Won't notice a thing."

Hater rolled his eyes and propped his elbows on the table. "No way! That's a stupid idea! Lord Dominator never removes his - uh, _her_ suit, much less leaves it be! And I happen to know Lord Dominator has more than one helmet because I've faced her - Oh wait. I forgot. She's hot..." He ended his rant with a dreamy look.

Peepers glowered and balled his tiny fists. "Ugh! He's right! Before I got fired, Hater and I snuck on her ship and tried to wreck the ship's core with a frostonium ray."

"And _that's_ how she has ice powers?"

"Yep, and that's how we found out she has one helmet, either locked in a very, very impenetrable vault or on her evil little green head."

Hater was still drooling beside Peepers, and Draykor resisted the temptation to smack the infatuated villain. "First of all, get a hold of yourself."

"Huh? What? Oh. I just said she's hot, man!"

"Draykor ignored him and turned to the others. "Second, this is idiocy! Madness! It's suicide!"

"But..." Wander spoke up quietly and timorously for the first time in hours. "It's my only way home."

Sylvia sighed tiredly and laid a gentle hand on Wander's shoulder. "Wander, I may not be the same Sylvia from your galaxy, but aren't I just as good?" She paused to see how he was absorbing her bluntness, but he only waited patiently for her to continue. "I can accept two Wanders. Heck, the old Wander disappeared after you came! He might be where you were, keeping your folks company." It was as much of a fat chance as their killing Dominator, but her little buddy needed that sliver of hope.

"Besides, look around. We'll keep you company. Won't we guys?" She glared daggers at the men, daring them to object.

"Yep!"

"Indeed!"

"Whatever," Hater grumbled, glancing at Wander to make sure he wasn't crying again. _Not that I care,_ Hater reminded himself. _It's just so annoying and... Grop, he could make anyone feel awful when he's sad! Even me!_ He subtly scooted a bit closer to Wander. _What's his secret? Hmm..._

"We can all roam the galaxy together as a family," Sylvia proposed. "And sometimes, we can even stay here. Can't we gang?" Everyone but Sylvia and Wander nodded. "Tumbleweed never missed a change to call every part of the galaxy home. It's what he always wanted." Sylvia hung her head at the thought of her little buddy. "We weren't as close as you are to your sister, but he... he was kind of like you before you met your family. So he made everyone his family."

Wander opened his mouth to apologize, but Sylvia shook her head and cupped his face in her hands. "Isn't that what you've always wanted?"

Wander didn't say anything for a minute, and Sylvia was about to ask him again when he gave her a bittersweet smile and replied. "Oh, Sylvia. You have no idea. Before all this, I would've definitely agreed with you and with Tumbleweed. I would've never dreamed of returning to the same old planet because I thought my folks wouldn't miss me, the nomad always getting into trouble and going off on some hectic adventure. And, it didn't feel like home when I was wasting my time wishing to be somewhere stranger or grander. But now..."

He looked out their booth's window, where the skies shone its innumerable planets and stars, twinkling invitingly. To Wander, none of them compared to the one place a wanderer could call home.

 _"Look at me." She gently cupped the nomad's chin. "You are no mistake. You're here for a reason. We met for a reason." She gave him another bright smile and stood up with him snuggled in her arms. "You want to go to my home, buddy?"_

 _The nomad just looked at her like she was the greatest treasure in the galaxy and smiled a huge, adorable smile._

 _"Home..."_

"I see that what I've left behind is more valuable than what any wandering can give me. I'm sorry, guys." With a new surge of confidence, he straightened up and gave his friends a resolute look. "But I'm getting that darn helmet because I need to go home. And you don't have to come with me if you don't want to but... Your help will always be appreciated, as it has been for as long as we've known each other." Wander smiled kindly, and the rest of the four couldn't help but smile in return. Even Hater smirked, and for a moment, all thoughts of Dominator disappeared.


End file.
